am I bi or just Intimate with this ONE woman due to our common past?

J

J J

New member
This woman and I always kinda flirted. but Ive never been with another women. Part of the reason is I was afraid I would feel weired or guilty after. Well guess what...she and I kissed a few times this past weekend. And what amazes me is how NORMAL and COMFORTABLE it felt for me! Is that a sign that I have been bi all these years and not known it? Or is it just a connection I have with her maybe?
Because I must mention...we were abused by the same ex boyfriend in the past. We have that in common so maybe that's why??
 
You seem bisexual or at least bicurious. Sometimes it takes time connecting to someone to see what you are. I didn't know I was a lesbian until the first time I got hit on by a girl. I actually got like really scared and felt guilty cause I liked it. Def pursue stuff if you both mutually like each other, who cares about gender, if you're happy with her, go for it :)
 
It is quite possible to be more attracted to one sex than you are to the other. It really depends on you. Bisexuality does not mean that you like men and women equally. It isn't like if you have two boyfriends than you will have two girlfriends. I know many bisexual people who are more attracted to the same sex or more attracted to the opposite sex. It isn't a perfectly drawn line.

I am more attracted to a person if I connect with them which is how quite a few of the bisexuals I know are. If they share similar interests with me, are a fun person who isn't judgmental, bossy, or forces opinions down people's throats, or plenty of other things, then I am attracted to them no matter what. I'm more of a pan-sexual as I'd have no trouble dating a transsexual or someone who is androgynous but I still call myself bi because it is more well known and I really see little difference between the two.

However, others get attracted to someone first by how sexually appealing they are and then by personality and that usually is where preferring one sex over the other comes in.
 
You say it feels comfortable and normal to you? Maybe you're not bi, maybe you're a pansexual. Which means you don't think love is gender determined and you love people, not a specific gender. It's different than bi cause bi people are attracted to both. Pans are attracted to a specific person.
 
If you're able to find the same sex attractive you're at least bisexual.
Finding just one person attractive doesn't make your sexuality any less valid, it just means you have certain standards that few people meet. It's not necessarily a bad thing, if anything it makes you a committed individual.
 
Back
Top