Am I being TOO judgmental ? Dump him cause he's been acting SLUTTY with

Alex

New member
girls ? he has sex on first date a lot? AM MOVING TO A NEW CITY FOR WORK
and friends in 7 weeks
I have been good friends online/the phone with a guy in that city for over 2 years.
Our first date was actually 2 years ago !
He was still caught up in a bitter heartbreak over his exfiancee leaving him 10 months before
So we stayed friends because the distance also seemed to make dating hard
We went on a 2nd date that summer
again had a great time (only kissed)
but again things didnt solidify
we stayed friends though online/phone
6 months later he found out his ex was getting married to the guy she cheated on him with while engaged ! he then told me he actually had had a casual girlfriend when he and i went out the last time.
I was upset and said it was a lot of drama
He said he had been sad and the girl wasnt a serious love and it was only our 2nd date
he then broke up with her and started asking me out again
I told him I was seeing someone else
so we again stayed friends long distance
i broke up with the new guy and he started asking me out again.
but i still wanted him to prove he was serious.
So i again stayed friend but I myself met a new man, had a bf for 6 months.
LDR friend got very jealous and told me we should be seriously dating (great- nice timing)
well I got a great job offer in a another city and the boyfriend I had became very selfish and told me not to take the other job even though it will may me 45 k MORE a year.
so we broke up
went on a great date with LDR guy 4 weeks ago
we made out a bit, again nothing serious and he was respectful of me.
we've talked 4-5 times a week since then.

well here's the big fat bombshells.
I believe drunk words are sober thoughts.
he and I had a very long 3 hour phonecall and he was drinking tequila...

2 things came out

1. He said that he doesnt date much but when he does he usually sleeps with the girls on the first date.
i said i hoped he was kidding
he said no it just seems to happen and that usually its first date
i then joked that i will take him to get tested as std clinic. he laughed.
he said oh well that its been easy for him so thats what happened.
i then said well i never do that unless im in an exclusive relationship
he replied yes he knows that.
2. we were flirting and talking about kissing hugging. he then made a 'joke' that maybe he would 'smack me around a bit'
i said oh wel he had better never touch my face.
he said oh

anyway these two things he said really bother me

he has been such a good friend and acts great in person.


Am I being TOO judgmental ? Dump him cause he's been a SLUT ?
jokes about smacking me around in sex play ?
 
Those aren't cool things to say, even if he was drunk/joking.
Good relationships don't involve that much drama but I guess it keeps life interesting...
 
I wouldn't dump him yet...just be cautious.

Most men DO sleep with women on the first date, if they can. Guys are horndogs. The fact that he's been talking to you and continuously asking you out for THIS long is a good sign though. Even though you didn't give it up yet, he still likes you.

As for the smacking you around thing...if he was drunk and talking about sex, he might have just been feeling you out to see what kinda stuff you're into. Some girls like kinky sex and being knocked around and choked and stuff. Not my cup of tea, but some girls like it.

I think you should keep talking to him, see how you guys do when you're actually in the same city and around each other more. Keep your eye out for red flags, but so far he doesn't sound too bad.
 
The issue here is compatibility. You and he have different expectations about a relationship. You have different ideas about sex. You have different ideas about fidelity.
This sounds like a bad idea.
 
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