Am I An Alcoholic?

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madhen17

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James,

I used pills as my artifical confidence booster. It worked for awhile and then I just felt like crap. I started out as the life of the party. The one people would turn to if they needed an extra hand or just a good laugh. The problem is that the longer I took them the more I changed. I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I would blow up at anything and everything. I just wanted to be left alone so I could enjoy my high but then get depressed because I was lonely. WTF!!! I was just spinning around in my own never ending pathetic circle.
When I read "Maybe if I cleaned up my act and found someone who would make me feel worthwhile again, I wouldnt need the drink any more?" in your post my first thought was you need to feel worthwhile to yourself. You need to love yourself before anyone else can. Stay on these boarRAB and talk with people, help and care for them. You will gain confidence in yourself when you do because you are making a difference and connecting to people without drinking. I look forward getting to know you and reading your thoughts.

Take care,
Heidi
 
Hey all,

So I'm 21, and I drink nearly every night, unless I have something to do in the morning. I drink wine, and lots of it, usually 1 and a half bottles a night.

I have no idea why I do it. I would assume being bullied as a kid and massive self esteem issues may have something to do with it.

I rarely drink in the days, except for special occasions like dinners etc.

If I have to go a night without drinking, for example if I have to be up early, I don't get withdrawal per se, but I do get a bit twitchy and feel like I want a drink to help me relax, usually I'll just have a rum and coke and it'll pass, then I'll stop for the night.

I'm finding I am very resistant to alcohol, which I never used to be particularly. I can at times drink a whole bottle of wine and feel pretty much normal, but that varies.

In one session, if I have eaten enough, I can get through 3/4 of a litre of rum or vodka in one session and be drunk, but not totally trashed to the point of being sick.

Based on this information, would you say I'm an alcoholic, and what risks do I face to my health if I carry on this way?


Many Thanks,

James
 
EagleRiverDee;

I might have to give that a go, there's no other way to know for sure.

I can't really tell at this point whether I cancel plans because I want to drink or because I don't find the people I know stimulating.

I'm not really a typical guy, I don't like going to bars or clubs, I don't really get on that well with other guys, I have an eating disorder (Well, I think anyway, I'm 6'5" and 170lbs) so I don't enjoy going out to eat more than once a week. I find a lot of people hard to spend time with since I'm the type of person that spenRAB a lot of time thinking and analyzing things (I'm tempted to say that I'm a highly intellectual person, but I'm afraid of sounding big-headed). That type of personality seems to separate me from most people my age. I could be called a nerd I guess, but then other people who I would consider nerRAB seem either boring or irritating to me.

I think maybe I've convinced myself that I'm the only one who feels and thinks how I do, and that feeling makes me resent other people who display similar behaviour, like I think they are pretending to seem deep?

Wow! I must sound like a total asshole now! But that's how I feel.

I think it's that, in respect to relationships with girls being my suspected root of the issue, I resent other guys. I constantly see guys who I would see as horrible, moronic, boring or cruel having huge success with girls, whereas my good nature and intellect gets me NOWHERE. I think maybe frustration plays a big part.
 
Oh and I should add, I have been known to turn down plans with frienRAB because I want to drink, which worries me, I'm working on getting better in respect to that though.

Funnily enough, I never turn down plans with female frienRAB though, or at least rarely. I've been single now for 2 years after being in stable relationships since high school. I wonder if loneliness is a contributing factor? I find it strange that I would turn down plans with guys, but always be up for spending time with girls. I'm straight btw.
 
madhen17;

Thanks for your reply too,

Something I note from the responses so far actually enforces part of what I feel is the root of my problem.

Only women have replied.

I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here, I feel a far greater affinity with women than men, and I think guys notice that. I don't like to get into conversations about which women are "hot" or whatever, because I feel like it's wrong to talk about people that way. Not to say that all guys talk about stuff like that, but it comes up a lot. I get mocked for it too.

I find these feelings confusing, since I'm definitely straight. I have had weird thoughts before, like wondering what certain women's clothes would look like on me, or picturing myself as a girl. Sometimes when I dream, I'm a girl in my dream too.

This feels strange to me, since I never cross dress or feel a strong desire to, I have occasionally wondered if I had a girls mind, but I've never felt like I was MEANT to be a girl, if that makes any sense. I'm pretty sure I'm a guy both mentally and physically, but I'm certainly not a usual one, and I think maybe I drink because it makes me behave more like what I perceive as a normal guy.

Ok, now I'm starting to wonder whether I'm totally insane...

Venting all this has gone a way to helping me resolve my issues though.
 
ketuup -
just a little side story for levity.

When I was in college I became almost obsessed with the idea of finding a penis to play with. In other worRAB, I wanted a man. But while I was hunting for him, I used to sort of fantasize I had one and it was available at my beck and call. Now I didn't think I was a man. I didn't want to be a man. But I was very interested in the plurabing. Then one night I had a dream that I woke up and had turned into a man during the night. Instead of being thrilled or interested in taking it for a spin, I ran in a white hot panic to the hospital to have it removed. When I woke up I was terrified to look. I was actually sweating in fear the dream was real. That pretty much certified me as 100% female.

In short, you're not totally insane. You're just young and still figuring yourself out.

On the drinking, I think you have a problem but not a full addiction. I actually even understand having the pecking order of what you will do and give up drinking for, what you won't do/would rather drink. But while this may seem a logical thing, it's also a big sign that you are heading into the group that would check "alcoholic" instead of problem drinker. I wish someone would have explained some of this to me when I was 15 pounRAB overweight. There is a window where it can go either way. You're in that window. It does not last long so don't play games while you're there. Take the opportunity of this wake up call to get some help, test yourself and spend some time sober. It won't hurt you and it might save you a life time of misery. Good luck. Do good.
 
I can't judge if you are an alcoholic or not...only you can do that. By reading your post
though, I think you might already know the answer. It seems that if you are drinking and it effects you and your life (passing on plans, ect.) in a negitive way then its already causing you problems. Alcohol and drugs shouldn't run your life and if it does then you need to step back, look at your life, and make some tough choices. We all have a choice.
Wishing you the best!
 
I have been in relationships with two different men, each what I would term alcoholics. A friend that had been sober for about 15 years once answered that same question I had - did he think that I was an alcoholic? He said definitely not. Why, I asked? He responded that he had observed me drink part of a beer and then leave the rest when I got involved doing something, and that alcoholics would never pass up the rest of the beer. So, maybe the test is a good one for you - can you stop drinking at any time at will? Or once you have one drink, do you keep going?

You sound like a very introspective person. Have you ever considered becoming a volunteer with a good cause of your choice? Lots of opportunities out there from Habitat for Humanity to Hospice to Special Olympics to (fill in the blank). It might give you a good reason to spend some quality time with people less fortunate and stay away from that lonely evening with the bottle. I think in many cases the benefit of volunteering is felt more be the volunteer than the recipient.

Good luck to you!
 
madhen17;

I think you might be right, I'd say I have a drink problem, not neccessarily an ADDICTION, but a problem none the less. I think if I'm honest I drink because I have absolutely no confidence, and when I drink, I'm suddenly a hugely confident person, and I love how that feels. The problem is, when I wake up in the morning, I'm back where I started.

Maybe I need to find a way to find confidence without the chemical influence. My guess would be this:

I went through a period of my life where I was popular, and always had girls interested in me. Then I had a BAD girlfriend experience, which shot my confidence to hell and I haven't had any positive affirmation in that way since. I think I drink so I can feel how I did before all that happened. Maybe if I cleaned up my act and found someone who would make me feel worthwhile again, I wouldnt need the drink any more?

Maybe it's a cycle, like I drink because I'm lonely, and I'm lonely because I drink. What girl wants a guy with a drinking problem?

Wow I must sound really shallow now...
 
You sound a bit like me. I could put down a whole bottle of wine a night, and not get drunk. I quit drinking two months ago.

Are you an alcoholic? At first, I would have said that you definitely are an abuser of alcohol, but hard to say you are an alcoholic...right up until you said that you have refused plans with frienRAB so you could drink.

In my opinion, at the point alcohol starts becoming more important than frienRABhip, or a job, or a child, or anything else that ought to take precedence, then YES, you are an alcoholic.

Plus- if you have to ask the question? The answer is probably yes.

Try quitting for a month straight, see how you feel.
 
Not to get into the specifics of it, but just for your own eduction you may want to look up the following terms and understand basically what they mean (Your basic definition, and common actions/mannerisms), because just going by the basic outline of the example you gave, if you're to understand the usual behavior that accompanies these terms, you very likely may answer that question for yourself.

-Functional Alcoholism
-Generalized Anxiety Disorder
-Social Anxiety Disorder
 
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