All New Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

You mean like this:

Question: What colour is the sky - blue, green, yellow or red?

Numpty contestant (after 5 mins of slack-jawed vacant silence): Can I ask the audience?

Chris Tarrant: Well, 99 percent say blue (apart from one percent of idiots who say red).....

Numpty: Hmm, audience has been wrong before, can I go 50/50?

CT: Computer, take away 2 wrong answers.....you're left with red and blue.

Numpty: hmmm, well it could be blue - or it could be red, you know like the saying "Red sky at night...."

CT (losing the will to live): You have one lifeline remaining....

Numpty: OK, I'll phone my friend Brian, he's an expert on the sky, he'll know for sure.

Friend: Blue, 100 percent sure.

Numpty: Chris, I've had a wonderful day, but I dont' want to risk it, I'll take the money.

CT: BUT THAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION YOU MORON!!!!

So if the new format puts an end to scenarios like that, I too will be watching avidly every week :D:D
 
Love it all! However, seeing as Chris has already done the spitting dog thing, maybe he could use a different puppet character? How about maybe a neurotic giraffe that poos everywhere? Chris could then wipe it's bottom as it makes a comedy sad face to camera. They could call him 'Colin, the pooey giraffe'- he'd be an instant hit across the nation!

(Bet nobody reprints this post in a national newspaper :D)
 
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