Alcohol. Surprise.

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HeidiM

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Ahh. I don't even know where to begin or how all this happened. I am 23 years old and have been drinking ~ everyday ~ for the past year.
I don't know why I began drinking in the first place. I guess it was mostly a social thing. And then it just became routine. Who doesn't love to come home after work during the summer, sit on the patio in the warmth, watch the sunset and have a glass of wine.
I don't drink in the morning or before five ( although I did do this once when I had extreme anxiety ~ don't think I'd do it again although it has passed through my mind if I felt that bad again ). I only drink at night and usually to the point where I can't read a book without having to reread the same sentence twenty times.
It's taking over my life. Well, my night life. I don't know if it's because I'm bored and I don't think of alcohol at all during the day until it's time to go home from work.
I guess it's a way to unwind. But I do this as soon as I get home and then I accomplish nothing afterwarRAB. I would much rather go home, make dinner and then go to the gym or something and then watch a movie. But the last few nights I just drink until I fall asleep on the couch by 8pm.
Am I addicted? Or am I just young and naive and bored and should get my a$$ up and do something with life?
I don't want to keep doing this. So that counts for something. But I am afraid to stop for whatever reason too.
Sorry for my rarabling. I do feel better though.
Thanks to anyone that listens.
 
Yet...

I think you're on a precipice where many young budding alcoholics find themselves, and you're getting dangerously close to falling off. You are lucky to be recognizing this now, before you commit yourself to a lifetime of battling an addiction.
 
What am I supposed to do now then? Is it that bad that I drink at night time? I feel it's all difficult to understand.
Alot of people say that it's the age. That they all go through this. College and University students. I don't know.
Of course I wouldn't know. I have no one to talk to about this. So...
 
I don't necessairly drink by myself until I fall asleep on the couch. I am usually with someone.
I understand that coming on here is a great first step and all. It's hard to tell whether or not I have an addiction. I smoked for almost 6 or 7 years and one day I just completely quit smoking. Cold turkey. And it doesn't really bother me. So I don't believe I have an addictive personality. I know alot is going on in my life right now and I guess that by doing this it just takes the edge off things. I don't think about alcohol all the time and I don't rush home just so that I can have a drink. I think it's more routine then anything. Just like smoking. And I'm afraid of what the nights will be like without booze. Will they be boring? Will I be antsy? Will I be as social? I know some of these questions can be stupid. But that's what I think of from time to time. I am mad at myself for this and it's just beginning to get annoying. And I should stop but another part of me is saying I don't want to. So confusing sometimes. I don't know...never talked about this before and I'm just admitting this to myself now sooo...
 
So, here's your problem. You are drinking, despite the fact that you would "much rather" do something else--something else that would be healthy and not detrimental to your health.

Yea, a lot of young people go through a party phase, with nightly drinking and then seemingly transition into an adult life just fine. But most of those party people who don't have a "problem" with drinking aren't drinking by themselves until they fall asleep on the couch.

So what do you do? Well, coming on here is a great first step. Recognizing that drinking is interfering with the life you want to live is very good. Do you have to cut out alcohol completely? I don't know. Probably. But it may take you a few more years of drinking like this, and slowly sliding downhill, before you realize it. Most people, but not all, who have a problem with stopping drinking, are unable to casually drink again. It will always lead right back to problem drinking. And it only gets worse as time goes on.
 
You remind me of me at that age. I'm now 31.

I've learned enough about myself and my own drinking, and read enough about other people's problems with alcohol, to make some observations for you.

First, you already know that alcohol is a problem for you and it is negatively affecting your life. For example, these are some classic signs of a problem drinker:







I think just about every problem drinker has uttered worRAB like this.

And second, you rationalize in your mind to convince yourself that you don't have a problem and to justify more drinking:









Rationalizing is the name of the game for most problem drinkers. You can always think of some excuse for yourself that in your mind will make it OK to drink. Try to identify yourself doing it.

I take the time to point this out for you, not to be mean, but to hopefully help. There's a lot of fully functional problem drinkers out there (I don't really like the term "alcoholic" because everyone has some notion of what an "alcoholic" is, when the real question is whether you have a problem with drinking when know you should not). Just because you hold a job, and don't drink before 5, and only stick to beer or wine, and .... on and on... doesn't mean that alcohol is not a problem for you.

Lastly, I think I've made this point, but it's worth repeating. It will not get easier to stop as time goes on. It's a downward spiral. It may take you a few (or many) years to gain the perspective to learn this, but it's true.
 
What's your story? How long did you drink for?
I realize now that I have a problem and I know this or I wouldn't be on this board. But it is an addiction and it's hard to just stop.
I think it's a huge step that I am sitting here saying I don't want to keep doing this even though I do. Is that not true?
I'm not tying to make excuses. I am genuinely confused as to what the symptoms are and whatnot.
Alot of the posts that I read, people have been drinking for years and all throughout the days.
I don't know. That's my problem that I just don't know. I have been dealing with anxiety this way lately and am afraid if I stop that this anxiety will come back. Don't want to repeat myself or anything. And I know you're not trying to be mean...but I'm new to this and am just trying to understand this fully.
 
If you are so afraid of anxiety, you need to find the root cause of it, and go to a doctor and get yourself some sort of medicine(antidepressants, anti anxiety medicine). Drinking is initially a good way of dealing with anxiety, then it becomes a problem.
 
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