Advice on rude sister in law?

[going lulu]

my family of 4 had to evacuate due to a hurricane and went spur of the moment to stay at my husbands brothers home. upon immediate arrival my sister in law gives us the cold shoulder. my daughter even asked why her aunt wasn't speaking to us. we stayed for less than 24 hours because the tension was so thick. a week later she sends an email, about how we had no respect for her house rules(which she never in the past has told us any rules, such as wash your feet before you walk in the house and no feet on the couch(mind you, they all do)) she claims toys were broken and the kids were out of control (really! b/c we weren't sure if we would have a home to go home to, they were a little stressed out) and how next time we come to visit we should bring age appropriate toys for our kids as they are not welcome to play with their cousins. this email went on and on about our parenting and how we have no control of our kids (mind you EVERYONE else in the world always says how well mannered and wonderful our kids are. and my daughter was beside me, freaked out the whole time, not running around like a maniac) anyway, my husband wouldn't let me respond b/c i would go momma lion on her, so he "handled it". my daughter also read the email her aunt sent and has been having nightmares. I have tried so hard to get along with my SIL, but she constantly thinks her way is the only way and that she is above us. how do i continue on having a happy face when she bashed us like this? any advice????

 

[malonda82]

I personally would set her straight right out, and apologize to the 'bich's' bro later, cause like no one has the right to say that and if she doesn't have the guts to call you so you can defend yourself, then if I were you I would make sure that she knows that. If she ever comes to your house, serve everyone except her. Make her feel the a c*nt, cause I'm sorry but that is what she is.

 

[LaLa]

Sounds like a bad situation. Here is a possibility - you are reacting more strongly than usual because you have just been through a high stress situation and are likely still a litte on edge???? Of course, the other possibility is that your SIL is acting SILly and couldn't handle the fact that she didn't know how long you were going to stay, the distruption to her life, etc. Also, she may have some personal issues going on.

Was what she did right? NO. Is it understandable that you are angry? YES.

My advice? Just be civil and respectful to her. Tell your children to be the same. You don't have to do anymore than that, and should not do any less.

Good luck!

 

[Carter L]

Too bad you can't invent a time machine and undo the mistake of getting married and having children. Sorry for your problems, glad they aren't mine.

 

[basketcase88]

I think you guys did the right thing here. Your husband was absolutely right to not allow you to respond to her absolutely rude, infernal, email. I cannot believe she treated you guys this way when you were displaced due to a hurricane! This wasn't an ordinary visit, you were ordered to evacuate, and probably had limited time to pack. I mean, what would she rather you have done, stayed put and been drowned?

I would simply in the future avoid this part of your husband's family when at all possible. I'm not saying avoid family get togethers where everyone is gathered at Grandma and Grandpa's, but I certainly wouldn't darken her doorstep again, nor would I invite them to stay with me or my family. Remind yourself that you are a better person than she is, because you would never treat another person the way she treated you. Don't lower yourself to her level, but don't go out of your way anymore to get along with her. Be polite, but civil. She's obviously not interested in being your friend, so don't try to be hers.

I hope everything for your family is more settled now. I've been through a few hurricanes in my life, and they're no fun. It takes WEEKS for things to get back to normal, and that's if you live inland. Most people who haven't been through one don't realize that. I wish you and your family all the best.

 

[Sunshine]

You don't want to make the situation worse, but she needs to be set straight. Write her an email back, telling her exactly how you feel; without insulting her or her family, as she so rudely did yours. Let her know that you expect a certain maturity level that she is definitely lacking. I hope your family is all okay after such a traumatizing event.