addicted to hydrocodone

[missy76]

I have been addicted to pain pills for the last 4 yrs. I got off once & had the worst withdrawls & swore to myself that I would never go back to them & put myself in that situation again. but here I am addicted again. I was petrified of the w/d's again & didn't know what to do so I decided to be honest with my husband, parents & my PMD who suggested for me to see an addiction specialist who put me on suboxone. its been 3 days now on the sub & although I feel great I still feel guilty because this too is an opiate & I'm really not "clean" plus I'm worried as to how long I will be on the sub & how it will be to get off of it in the future......am I gonna have w/d from this too? anyone with advice or who has been on sub before too please tell me your stories. I wanted to go cold turkey but I can't afford to miss work plus I have kiRAB to take care of. I just can't believe I put my self back in this situation again..... I feel so guilty!!!

 

[missy76]

also I should say that my addiction started when I injured my back at work. the pills worked great but as time passed I needed more & more for the pain & then I eventually started taking them just to get thru the day whether I had pain or not..... I just loved the way those damn pills made me feel...... and deep down I knew what I was getting myself into but I convinced myself that it was ok because I have a herniated disk in my back & that I could control myself and not get addicted....but here I am 4 yrs later ....its has destroyed my relationship with my hubby and I am in debt from buying the pills (i would blow thru my script in a week.....thats how bad I got!!) I'm so ashamed of myself..... I even thought about suicide but I couldn't because of my beautiful children.