Addict back from the pain clinic

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Well, I got back from the pain clinic today. The doctor had some bad and some good news. He said that my pain is chronic, inoperable, and will last the rest of my life. However, since I am an addict and the short acting pain meRAB don't work well for an addict, he said that he suggests staying on suboxone therapy. I have mixed emotions about what was said, but he also pointed out that a lot of pain patients are doing VERY well with suboxone.

So, I have a decision to make. Do I get off of the suboxone in June as planned by the addictionologist or is it a lifelong commitment? Oh well. A day at a time, as they say in NA, right?

mk
 
Hey Mk,

That was quite the appointment for you huh? I guess I don't really have any advice to give.. Just wanted to show my support! That is a tough spot to be in... I can't imagine having chronic pain because that would make this addiction situation so much worse for me. You are strong!!!! Think hard about this.... it's a big decision!!!

Hope you are doing okay!!!
 
Thank you, Secrets. Getting a reply from you lights up my day (smiles). You seem like such a caring person. It would be great to meet you in real life.

We had a NA meeting two days ago where the discussion topic was about using narcotics for a legitimate condition and staying in recovery. I got a lot of insight out of the discussion. One addict said that she has her friend give her the meRAB and is ever cautious and mindful that her disease could wake up at any time and that she could relapse. There seems to be no easy way out of it. The bottom line is to be honest, open-minded, and willing.

I would rather stay on the suboxone than relapse back into the "yummy" opiates; that's for sure. I have a healthy fear of relapse---after tripping up so many times, always mindful that the next one could be my last! My most recent relapse landed me in jail, saddled me up with a $5000 fine, and required a mandatory 90 day outpatient stay in rehab. Boy, did that snap me out of it! I am a very lucky man, though. I got a harsh reprimand for my behavior, but I am still alive! I worry about the other addicts on this board who keep relapsing. It really is like a game of Russian roulette. All I can hope is that they hit some kind of a bottom, and that bottom is not death.

Suboxone is an opiate. It's not very "yummy," but is an opiate nevertheless. And, I want to get CLEAN, back to my old happy self, the person I was before I started hating myself and trying to bury my emotions with pills. I pray to my higher-power every day, asking for guidance on this decision over suboxone. In the end, I will be honest with myself.

Thank you for your support, Secrets, and God bless.

Your friend in recovery,

mk
 
Perhaps you and I can ponder up the pros and cons - maybe it will help one another...

I'll give you one example of each for now.

Pro - I'll be protected in the event of a relapse (Suboxone is stronger than most opiates so I wouldn't feel it even if I tried). On the same note, I do not have any cravings and would hope that that is still the same in years to come.

Con - Suboxone is still an opiate, therefore I am not really "free" of all narcotics. At the same time, I understand that so long as I take it as directed and do not abuse it, I am not using - I just can't shake the feeling that I am still taking "something." I suppose that's something I have to work on...

If you don't want to list any pros and cons, I will not be offended :)

Sincerely,
emsmom
 
Pros: Suboxone knocks the pain down to a managable level. I can exercise and live a fairly normal life. I can't get loaded on the stuff. Most of the time, I won't remeraber to take it on time, but eventually my pain reminRAB me it's time for a dose.

Cons: Intellectually, I know it's an opiate. It's hard for me to say that I'm clean at NA without feeling like I'm cheating. My sponsor knows that I'm on it, and he thinks its OK. But, I am having a hard time convincing myself that it is.

mk
 
Hi mk,

Happy Easter :)

I too, have that same decision to make. My pain is chronic and will last the rest of my life. Suboxone treatment is an option for me. I will be reading your posts to see what decision you make - and hopefully gain some knowledge from you.

Good luck, and have a wonderful weekend.
 
So I'm much in the same situation so I'll respond. I'm tapering off SUB and in NA. I'm taking 1/2 a pill and about to go off. I'm feeling a bit like I'm cheating, but my sponsor says, "take a breath," "don't be too hard on yourself." and just "keeping coming back to the meetings." I think SUB is a great drug relative to the hellish full opiate agonists like oxy, hydro, percs or even methadone. And it does help with pain. Careful though, taken in high doses there is the risk for a high and it can get to be cause for abuse. So just be careful.
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
SB.
 
emsmom:

It's good to know that I am not alone. Thank you for your reply. I will be interested in your decision as well.

Your friend in recovery,

mk
 
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