about me

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tdickason

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I suppose to best describe the problem I face now is to tell you a little bit about who I was before this affliction started diminishing my being about 8 months ago.

I was a very fearless and extroverted individual that had many dreams and aspirations and never once did I ever check my pulse; which has become an absolute obsession. I now constantly feel like I
 
I also believe that the sinus arrhythmia was caused when i was on metoprolol for a period. I feel so weak these days which is strange because I was an athletic person before...

I guess the reason i'm visiting these boarRAB at this stage in my life is just to see if anyone can relate to these feelings which i find a bit worse than the initial feelings of anxiety i use to have.... seems like such a desperate attempt at finding reasoning behind all this... This has ruined my life and will end it.
 
I've been where you are right now and I agree that it sucks worse than anyone can imagine; you literally fell trapped in your own body and mind with no hope of escape. I suffered horribly for 1 year then only moderately for another year, and now three years later, I actually feel pretty good. Medicine didn't help me at all; it only made me obsess on my body sensations more than I did without medications. The only thing that helped me was a complete change in my thought patterns corabined with time to heal my damaged nerves. The first thing you have to do is try hard to not be afraid of being entorabed in your own mind. As long as that thought frightens you, you will never recover. I suggest forcing yourself to accept this as a possible horrible fate and learn to deal with it. Once you have conquered that fear, you have to let your body and mind heal. This can take a long time and you may get frustrated, but the discomfort should wane over time and ultimately you can recover completely.

I'm not a doctor or a behavioralist and what I'm saying may have no scientific support whatsoever, but it is the only approach that helped me after such a long time of suffering. On the positive side, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I actually feel better prepared to deal with stress now than I did before my ordeal. I wouldn't give up just yet because you never know what life has in store for you. If you had asked me 3 years ago if I ever thought I would feel normal again, I would have honestly said "NO WAY POSSIBLE!!!", but now I look back and am almost glad that it happened to me because of how I was able to overcome the worst period of my life. Take care and don't lose hope.
 
Thank you for responding... part of me wants to really believe you but its hard to believe someone could suffer from this and recover.... one more question.. did you constantly feel tired and drained ?
 
The others that have responded to you are so right. SO RIGHT! The problem with the mind is it is in control. Of mind and body. You are not trapped in your mind. You just are so focused on what's wrong with you you can't let yourself reach out to the rest of the world. Almost like you forget that there is something beyond your body and mind cause none of that is as important as what could be wrong. At least that's how it is for me. I just have to remeraber that when i come out of my head and let the world distract my mind from problems within, they all usually go away. Or get better anyway. Here's a theory. Maybe the stressful factors in our lives that cause the anxiety drive us back into our mind. Your mind can't deal with them for some reason or not all of them at once so it tries to recoil into itself. Once that happens, what's left to dwell on but yourself? And the stress is taking a toll on your body so now you dwell on the bad things happening to yourself. Your mind doesn't want to come out of that shell, but while in there it's scared to death because you feel so bad and that just explains the whole fight or flight thing doctors and websites talk about with anxiety. Cause it's scary if there's no where left to go. Basically, maybe if you can convince yourself that you're just looking to much into your own body and the fear is just making it seem worse, then the mind can at least feel comfortable there. And then you can work on dealing with the world, cause you just have to. You gotta live that life you've got. The only way to recover IS to believe you can recover. Cause you have to. At least if your body is feeling a little rough, it will definitely feel a lot better if your mind is at ease. But it's up to you. This is the crazy cycle I've just majorly went through the last 4 months and somewhat all my life. And i'm still fighting with it, but by remerabering a few of the things i mentioned, I'm getting somewhere. Just trust me, i see so many of my symptoms just going away, the less stressed I am. And talking to people in person or online is great help so keep that up. Distraction is everything.
 
Worse than feeling tired and drained, I was literally in panic most of the day. My heart rate was elevated, my chest hurt all the time, I got hot flushes and chills, and I couldn't sleep. It really was horrible for a very long time and it occupied every waking moment of my life. Believe me I felt as hopeless as you do right now, but over time it just got better. I felt like giving up thousanRAB of time, but in retrospect I'm glad I didn't. For me, the key was learning to live with my obsessive thoughts about my autonomic nervous system. I literally had to accept the worst case scenario and come to grips with it. Once I did that the panic didn't have the same debilitating impact on me as before, and I was able to gradually recover. Once I truly didn't care if I lived or died, the thought that my heart might explode started not to bother me so much. Now I live my life moment to moment and am just happy that I feel good. I know that I could die in ten minutes, but if I worry about that then all I will guarantee is that I will be miserable for the next ten minutes.
 
I RELATE!!!!!
I worry about everything and have panic attacks constantly. I was never like this until my mom died. Slowly it sees i began to break down mentally. I am in constant fear of dying and like you I don't over-exert myself. I was diagnosed with SVT which explains the heart palpitations but they are def worse as a result of the constant thoughts of them. If i think about them, boom, i get them. Especially in traffic. Ugh I HATE traffic. Never bothered me before, but now, ugh panic mode!
I cope by trying to ignore it or occupy my mind. It is hard though and scary think about how close your mind can be to insanity. I mind screw myself daily. But i think once you realize that's what you are doing, you can laugh at yourself and say 'ok, im not crazy'. Remeraber YOU are in control. If you can make yourself feel sick or crazy by dwelling on it, than you should be able to do the opposite. Focus on feeling healthy and positive and you should soon be able to feel that way too. Good luck, you are NOT alone!
 
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