A young tramadol user...

  • Thread starter Thread starter howcouldiknow
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I applaud you for lowering your dose even in spite of everything going on in your life. You could be a little more emotional since you are decreasing the tramadol. However, you must stick to your taper schedule no matter what and now you see that you really can do it. Keep up the good work and keep us posted how things are going. And definitely post when your girlfriend has her baby ok?;)

brian
 
Hello Young Friend

I am happy you have found this board and glad to meet you. Like so many of us, the drug use started with legitimate reasons and somewhere we crossed a line into using it for the wrong reasons. That Ultram has caught so many people! It was touted as non-addictive when first marketed and doctors were prescribing it freely. It was not until many patients began relating to their doctors how addicted they had become that it was finally recognized for what it really is... an addictive drug. I guess this is all water under the bridge, but it does keep me abgry at greedy drug companies who had to have known this through their own trials of the drug.

I don't want to get off of it...and yet I do want to get off of it.​

I am going to say this gently.... there is no sitting on the fence with this. Ultram is not prescribed to make mining work easier and the thinking in this way must change if you hope to get off this drug and live a restored life again. To continue to abuse it as you are doing is so counter-productive for you. We need to face life on life's terms... the good, the bad and the ugly. When we keep our brains in a drug haze, we may not feel bad stuff as harshly, but we also will not feel good stuff with all the joy that can be had. I used opiates and benzos for many years to curb a lot of pain associated with multiple surgeries for cancer. I got so damn hooked and needed more and more to achieve the same results as time went by. Oh, I 'functioned." I made it to work everyday and that was about it. I would come home and collapse in bed for the rest of the day. I stopped connecting with family and in the end had a total breakdown. If I realized what was happening to me, I stuffed it away so I didn't have to deal with it. Now that I am clean of all opiates and benzos, I can fully appreciate how much better my life is off of them. I FEEL. I feel love and joy and happiness which comes ion balance with the sadnesses and hurts and pain. I am in no more pain off the drugs than I was on them. And most importantly, I have learned to deal with life and enjoy it.

I think a plan asking your doctor to help you taper off the Ultram is such a wise one. I was a sobbing mess when I went to my long time doctor for help. We developed a plan for me. When I left his office that day, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. I had HOPE. Hope that I could get through this and find 'me' again and a life that was peaceful again. And I have. June is two years from the end of all my tapering and living without drugs being a routine part of my life. No more pill counting, feeling scared , fearing life. It is all waiting for you also.

Make the call now and set up an appointment with your doctor. Ask for help. We don't have to travel this path alone at all. Get your life in good order for you, your mate, and the child to be. So many wonderful things are on your horizon. Don't fail to be there to enjoy them because of drug abuse. We are all here for you.

Hugs
reach
 
I take 125mg at once in the morning. It's working pretty well. Just later in the evening I'm wanting more to sustain the high. I may also feel a little down, but definantly not as severe as cold-turkey.
When I was taking my usual doses before tapering it was spaced out. 125mg in the morning, 25mg in afternoon. 25-50mg more in evening.

Dropping it out down to 112.5mg soon, then 100mg shortly afterwarRAB. A little scared.

:wave:
 
reachout, I caved in. :-(
This morning, on day 2, I took 125mg.
I should have stuck with it, because I'm going to run out a couple of days early before the refill will be allowed anyway. Unless I take only 75mg from here on out. Which is hard in itself. Makes me wonder if I'll be able to taper.

The relief that was brought on when the tramadol kicked in was unreal. All the withdrawal pain slowly went away. Was like a breath of freshness. :(

I failed cold-turkey. Guess I can try again.
Probably fixing to call the doc and set up appt for tapering.
I tried.
 
reachout, no offense was taken in your post. I agree with you. I am instructed to lower my dose a little on the 19th. Nervous, but excited at the same time. Weird, huh?

You won't believe what happened on Monday! My girlfriend and I were involved in a car wreck. It wasn't severe. I was driving, she was in passenger seat and it was her car. The people that hit us were just going a little too fast. We are okay, but since she is pregnant they kept her on a moniter for 24 hours and that wasn't fun. I stayed with her and sleeping in a hospital room was pretty difficult. I didn't get checked out by a doctor, although she begged me to. I felt was I fine. When we were hit I had severe pain on the right side of my stomach, but it quickly abated and now my back is just really achy. I didn't get checked out by a doctor because I was just in a little pain and they wouldn't have been able to do anything besides give pain medicine and I don't need anything to interfere with tapering off of tramadol, and getting more pain medicine would do that.

I guess you can imagine how much more stress this has caused. I feel so bad about wrecking her car since she's only had it since January. However, insurance checked out my record and since I've never been pulled over or had a wreck before, we believe they are going to get the car repaired so that's good.

We are still looking for a house. I'm still waiting on the mines to call me. Mailed out more resumes this morning. Doctor at the medical center instructed her to go on bed rest because her blood pressure has been a little high since the wreck, so we're a little worried about that. But the baby appeared to be great! :cool: Wow...she's due ina few weeks. I can't wait. I've always wanted a daughter first.

Believe it or not since I'vebeen busy the high has been in the back of my mind and I'm feeling a little more motivated in life. The high is still there, just very faint. I'm working very hard on this.
Thanks again!:wave:
 
Hey

I am so darned proud of you! Big kudos to you, my Friend. I am so very happy to hear you will keep it at two tabs until you meet with the doctor.

Another round of applause to you for sharing with your bride-to-be. A huge key to success in marriage is a base of honesty to work from starting Day 1. You have much going for you! My own husband was truly my biggest and most caring advocate in my own journey. He put new meaning on the phrase to 'love unconditionally.'

You are going to be okay there, yes you are. A lot of your biggest fans and supporters here on the board are rooting their hearts out for you. Smiles.

Stay strong
reach
 
Thanks, guys. You're right.

And the tapering is going well.
I take my daily dose in the morning and actually get a high, but by evening that high has lessened and I want more really bad. Although the high isn't really there in the evenings, there is no withdrawal until the next morning... and that's what counts. BUT...for some reason I still feel a little icky and not as motivated as I once was.

Anyone that has tapered before and has some advice would be greatly appreciated. Anything. :wave:
 
Well, everyone I slipped for the first time on tapering today. :(

It is now 4:20 PM and I caved (for some reason) and took a whole 50mg more than I'm supposed to. Down to two-and-a-quarter 50mg tablets a day as far as tapering goes, that's what, 112.5mg a day? And I just can't believe I took a whole other one earlier. It's starting to kick in and I feel so guilty and like I have failed. I'm also feeling very super-charged and dizzy. :dizzy: Haven't really taken this much in a while. Not unpleasant...I just feel so guilty. Anyone been through this? Doing well on tapering and then messing up for a day. I guess I can resume my tapering schedule tomorrow and it will be fine. I don't see why slipping up one time would take me back to the start.

Please, some advice. :(

hugh, good luck with finding an antihistamine for anxiety. As far as I know, hydroxyzine is the only one approved for anxiety here in the U.S. I'm sure others are used off-label for anxiety at times, though.
 
Thanks for the note about Atarax. I am long term user of Xanax high doses. I use to, as a child use the old OCD anithistamines because I had allergy's and anxiety.

My mother would give me an anti-histamine with antianxiet prorpertys as a child for my fear of going to school/agraphobia. As told to by doctor.

I ended up on valium because of a panick attack I had in my teans. But I knew back then about 20+ years ago I had a persistant daily anxiety problem.

I will ask for this Atarax from a GP I get prozac from as he hates drugs of addiction, and even dislays a poster in his office that they don't perscribe drugs of addiction there.

I will still keep using Alprazolam (Xanax) though. But continue to reduce doses as I get better....

*I take 30mg Avanza at night (initially having a half 15mg in the day if having anxitey symptoms, which it immediatey achieved, it disolves in your mouth). This drug is not only helps me sleep, but it is classed as a minor pshycho-active drug



edited disallowed subject.



Easy to get from a doctor, fairly common accepted anti-depressant. YOU WILL LIKE IT, ESPECIALLY TO HELP SLEEP!!!

*I Prozac in the morning! - It has greatly improved my mental capasity, ability to cope with stress, and lucky for me, no sexy disfuction problems at all. If you have sex drive problems initally take Tribulus a very good male aphrodisiac. It works. It keeps those balls jangleing. THANK GOD FOR PROZAC! It exstenRAB the half-life of Xanax so a don't have a massive mithdrawal craving at the start of the end of the half-life.

*XANAX - Which , without it I am a social misfit and mental and psychological mess. I will be on it the rest of my life. I tried to withdraw clinically from it but, my illnessess outway the benefits of staying on it!

This will be my final not on Xanax. It is a great achievement in medical science, along with Prozac and many other drugs that help people lead normal, happy dayly lives....After all isn't that these the most important things, HEALTH & HAPPINESS?

GOD BLESS... :angel:

It is a good idea to move to any medication that is not addictive BUT if you have pain you must relieve it. Pain causes mainy other health problems and eventual death. Research analgesics with less addiction if you wish to change. Assess your pain threshold 1-10 and the different drugs you can use for different levels of pain ok! Not just one because you are addicted to it! Have a little of the one you are addicted to and a complementary one of little or no addiction levels.
 
Thank you for the quick reply, reachout.
What opioiRAB were you using? Just curious.

Yeah. I feel tapering would be the best route. I've read posts that go both ways. Some say tapering is best. Some say it's not. I'm going to go with tapering. I've had to face cold-turkey before and it was just too agonizing. In May 2008 I had to go 7 days without tramadol. By day 3 I was getting some strange symptoms. My thoughts were scattered and I just felt like I was losing my mind. I was hearing things and sleeping was impossible. You know, by day 7 I was beginning to feel a little better, but of course I got my pills refilled and started over. Back then I was smoking marijuana, too and it's the only thing that got me through those 7 days without going crazy. I tried to come across hydrocodone, codeine, anything like that, but had no luck. Don't worry...I haven't smoked marijuana since January 20th. :cool: I wish getting off tramadol was as easy as getting off marijuana. There was no physical withdrawal with quitting marijuana cold-turkey at all. It just doesn't cause dependency. They don't know why. It just doesn't.

You know what? I may take your advice and call the doctor before my follow up for more meRAB in October. Like I said...I'm just scared. I'm not scared to ask for help and taper. I'm scared of letting the tramadol go. I know it sounRAB weird especially to someone who doesn't understand dependency, but I'm sure you understand.

Looks like I'm going to run out of tramadol a day or two early this month. I may be able to make it if I take a lower dose a few days...but of course...you know how that goes. I'll want more before the day is up. I do have some Ativan (lorazepam) from an old prescription left over from waaaay back. It will probably help take the edge off the withdrawal, but I'll still be in agony. I can't stand the way benzos make me feel. I don't like feeling tired all day. It's like alcohol. I don't drink, because it just makes me tired. Don't like drugs that make me exceedingly drowsy. At least you know I'll never abuse benzos or drugs of that type. ;)

I was w/d pretty bad when I posted earlier. Of course I took 125mg not long after and I feel pretty decent now. Just like a normal human being. I can't wait to feel normal without tramadol.
 
hey, notperky.

Yeah. He gave me a very low amount of Xanax. Not enough to get dependent definantly. I'm not a "downer" fan anyway. Even though I guess opioiRAB are technically downers, but I find that sedatives and benzos like alprazolam just don't produce the euphoria I look for in opioiRAB. Benzos feel like alcohol to me. And I'm not an alcohol fan at all. I'm saving the Xanax for when the tramadol dose gets low. Yesterday was just a test run and the Xanax slowed me down. Way down. Didn't really appreciate that feeling. :dizzy:

Thanks for the support again. You guys mean a lot to me. Will keep you posted.
 
You said..."I had severe anxiety and depression when I turned 13, but when I started taking tramadol at 15 I noticed that anxiety and depression just went away. I thought I grew out of it and it was just teenage angst...but the tramadol may be alleviating that I don't know."

This made me realize something about myself that I try not to think of too often. I had (self diagnosed) panic and anxiety disorder for much of my twenties and early thirties...well until I started lortab I had it. Then it went away. I have been contemplating what I may start to feel concerning this as I am recovering. It's scary. I hated the anxiety and constant, 3 times a day panic attacks.

Just a thought. I think the feeling of euphoria from pain pills that we get does create in our minRAB a sense of well being that really isn't there without them. I guess all i can further say, is knowledge and realization of the truth is gonna help me figure this all out. I haven't panicked since I have been withdrawing but of course, my emotions are coming out very easy for the most part right now.

:)
 
As a mother of 8, my best advice to you is to sleep when the baby sleeps. Do *not* try to use that time to get caught up with house cleaning, laundry, etc.

Sleep deprivation can really weaken one's will power, plus, as a new parent you really do need all of your energy. Even 20-30 minute naps help.

Steady on then, and congratulations on this wonderful blessing!
 
Hey, everyone. Just thought I would update you since I haven't been on here in a few days.

Tapering is still going...although a little rocky at times. I do feel more emotional while tapering and unfortunantly those emotions are usually negative.

My girlfriend and I have an apartment now, we just haven't moved in yet. Our parent's are being kind enough to help us out. I promise to pay them back and it may be sooner than I thought because this upcoming week I may have an interview with an underground mine. My dad helped me with that so I'm sure I'll get the job. I can't wait. Will be making very good money...and with the baby at most, 2 weeks away from coming into the world...that's just what we need. :)

Can not wait to experience my daughter being born. I imagine it will be a very positive, moving experience. :wave:

Thanks for the support.
I'm having some rocky feelings while tapering, but I'm still sticking to it!
 
howcouldiknow, I'm so glad you're continuing your taper, despite everything that's going on. You're a very strong young man.

Congrats on the apartment and the job prospect! If the job comes thru, it couldn't be at a better time, right? Are you going to wait for the baby before you move into the apt? Whew! You sure have a lot going on, but keep up the taper so you can participate in your baby's birth!

Make sure and keep posting, and of course, post when your little girl is born. Yes, you're right, it's very emotional, even for those who aren't in the miRABt of a major life change like tapering off meRAB. But it's one of the most beautiful experiences you'll ever have, and afterward, you can pat yourself on the back and know you were all there for the birth, and not buzzed out. That's a major breakthrough and you and your girlfriend will both be so proud and happy.

Take care,

rose
 
I was also taking tramadol at 400mg per day although I never abused it. I can tell you that the depression for me got so bad that I ended up going back on it for awhile. Then I had to start on an anti-depressant because the depression, crying, suicidal thoughts were so bad. If you find the depression to really be bad even with tapering then consider going on an anti-depressant. You may find out that you were suffereing from depression all along and using the tramadol as an anti-depressant. It does effect the neurotransmitters serotonin & norepinepherine just like some of the anti-depressants do, at least the SNRI anti-d's do. I am currently taking Lexapro and doing well with it. Another good one is Wellbutrin and Cyrabalta, they both effect the same neurotransmitters that tramadol does. It's just they don't have the synthetic opiod effect that the tramadol does so they are not addictive. I would also make sure that you give the medication over to somebody else if possible.

brian
 
howcouldiknow;

You are fine...get back on track or hopefully you already are. :)

I remeraber that feeling when tapering and taking more than I should (messin up) and "feeling the high" again. Don't think about it. I keep getting times of feeling high without pills...I like it...it feels like a gift. :angel: I have been trying to find ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that will give me a feel-good sensation...my only requirement for the feel-good sensation is that it is LEGAL for me...hahaha. :cool:

I have missed my abilities to multi task with the best of them...the running around, getting it all done thing we do, when we are high. My gosh...I was super woman. I have nowhere near the mind/body energy I had but I know I will find my normal. You will too...just keep on tapering...and taper and taper and then...you will be free. :)

:wave:
 
Hi There

Well, quite a bit going on for you. First and foremost, lots of prayers for Mama and Baby ( and, of course, you). The accident must have caused much upset for everyone. Good for you for not wanting to get pain meRAB... do get checked, though, if the pain persists, okay?

I am glad no offense was taken with my posting. I would never try to offend you, only to help you. I am glad the business of life is pushing the desire for a buzz to the background. This is how it should be... we become so involved in the true work of life that we lose a desire not to be able to fully participate and no longer want any high or buzz. We learn to become immersed in life and not drugs.

There is so much to look forward to in your young life... a family, a new job, a new house! These things are so much more rewarding than a temporary high. Erabrace all the wonderful things of life, shun the bad.

I understand the nervousness and excitement of making the next cut. Each cut means we are a step closer to a life without the drug. It can be so hard to imagine life is possible without it! However, I am telling you straight up, not only is it possible, it is 100 times better than our lives on them. As we reach deeper into sobriety, we understand more and more this truth. The feelings you are having are so very normal in this situation. Accept them, feel them, and know you are moving on. You are moving on! A better place in life is waiting for you.

Be strong, believe fully that you are doing a good and positive thing.
Hugs
reach
 
Don't beat yourself up too much. It was a minor slip up. It's not like you took the whole bottle, you know. You can start back on the taper tomorrow or don't take anymore for the rest of the day today. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Your disease wants to see you fail, wants you to suffer. Don't let it make you do this. Fight the thoughts and realize that they are just thoughts. They can not force you to do anything. Maybe you should check out a meeting at NA or AA. I think it would help you out alot and so you are not focused so much on the meRAB. Do you have someone that you could give the tramadol to and only give you your daily amount. That would be another HUGE help in weaning down. Most addicts that have control of their meRAB will fail in a taper. So if you can give the bottle to someone else that you trust then do it.

brian:wave:
 
Hey!

I tapered and I completely understand what you are going thru. I swear the only advice I can give you is to keep busy and time will heal you.... I know it sucks.. it's not the answer you want to hear because I sure didn't when I was in your stage but it's true. HANG IN THERE! You are doing GREAT and it will only keep getting better!

Staying active is the key.... it will help you sleep better at night, it will keep you preoccupied durring the day. I know it's so much easier said than done but I did it so I can say it ;) You have shown great strength so keep going and you will beat this!!!

Keep posting!!!
 
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