BlueFeather
New member
Young Love
One look from him, her heart was swept away!
Unsteady knees and trembling hands betrayed
that firm resolve she'd made another day
before events that shape a youthful mind
could verify young love as mostly blind,
a painful truth in wait for her to find.
While he a lad both handsome and refined
exchanged more hopeful things and looked away,
to drink his fill and let it make him blind.
Instead, his fitful heart had just betrayed
that constant thought which plagued his troubled mind.
One glance from her would brighten up his day.
With bells and chimes to mark her wedding day
it seemed her happiness had been defined,
with even more still waiting to be mined.
Her charming knight had taken her away--
no sign her love would later be betrayed,
eventually revealed as purblind.
He on the other hand was not so blind,
his fickle soul was occupied all day:
how soon his lovely bride could be betrayed.
If duly planned no one would ever find
the ease with which he'd often sneak away
without the least regret to cloud his mind.
She later thought she'd truly lose her mind
upon discovering she'd been so blind.
With youthful innocence now cast away
her loveless life grew darker every day,
diminishing her clinging hope to find
somehow she hadn't really been betrayed.
The male ego always feels betrayed
when others see the evil in his mind.
Instead of what he'd meant himself to find,
his ill intent had likewise made him blind.
She turned the tables on him one fine day,
divorced and took his every cent away!
To be betrayed when one is young and blind
is what we find on almost any day--
but seldom seem to mind from Oh so far away!
My very first sestina!
(with which I've taken some liberties)
The liberties I mentioned are:
1) find/refined and mind/mined
2) choosing end-words that rhyme [in all I've read most do not, but no rule to say they should or shouldn't]
3) no rule that any particular meter need apply, but I chose iambic pentameter -- and added extra syllables to the last line.
I've also tried to make the stanzas alternate by focusing each on gender opposite that used in the one before.
Perhaps they're wrong but the sources I consulted say there is a very definite pattern to the way end-words are arranged in each successive stanza (as opposed to varying combinations).
A special thanks to Tori for the definition of sestina, and correctly identifying Sue's poem, both of which I probably should have done myself when I posted my poem this morning.
One look from him, her heart was swept away!
Unsteady knees and trembling hands betrayed
that firm resolve she'd made another day
before events that shape a youthful mind
could verify young love as mostly blind,
a painful truth in wait for her to find.
While he a lad both handsome and refined
exchanged more hopeful things and looked away,
to drink his fill and let it make him blind.
Instead, his fitful heart had just betrayed
that constant thought which plagued his troubled mind.
One glance from her would brighten up his day.
With bells and chimes to mark her wedding day
it seemed her happiness had been defined,
with even more still waiting to be mined.
Her charming knight had taken her away--
no sign her love would later be betrayed,
eventually revealed as purblind.
He on the other hand was not so blind,
his fickle soul was occupied all day:
how soon his lovely bride could be betrayed.
If duly planned no one would ever find
the ease with which he'd often sneak away
without the least regret to cloud his mind.
She later thought she'd truly lose her mind
upon discovering she'd been so blind.
With youthful innocence now cast away
her loveless life grew darker every day,
diminishing her clinging hope to find
somehow she hadn't really been betrayed.
The male ego always feels betrayed
when others see the evil in his mind.
Instead of what he'd meant himself to find,
his ill intent had likewise made him blind.
She turned the tables on him one fine day,
divorced and took his every cent away!
To be betrayed when one is young and blind
is what we find on almost any day--
but seldom seem to mind from Oh so far away!
My very first sestina!
(with which I've taken some liberties)
The liberties I mentioned are:
1) find/refined and mind/mined
2) choosing end-words that rhyme [in all I've read most do not, but no rule to say they should or shouldn't]
3) no rule that any particular meter need apply, but I chose iambic pentameter -- and added extra syllables to the last line.
I've also tried to make the stanzas alternate by focusing each on gender opposite that used in the one before.
Perhaps they're wrong but the sources I consulted say there is a very definite pattern to the way end-words are arranged in each successive stanza (as opposed to varying combinations).
A special thanks to Tori for the definition of sestina, and correctly identifying Sue's poem, both of which I probably should have done myself when I posted my poem this morning.