A sense of becoming alone?

C

cherry clairey

New member
There has been a lot of pointless things going on with me (i.e. close friends seem to becoming more distant, I can't seem to act the same around people etc.)
One of the main issues I have been trying to deal with is the sense that I am becoming a loner. Everyone has always known me to be "the quiet guy", but lately I have been too quiet even for myself. This problem has led me to get the feeling that I'm losing my best friend of two years.
I have had a lot of people tell me "accept it and move on", but how am I supposed to accept what I'm changing into if it feels like by the time I'm 20 I'm pretty much going to be alone in life?

I'm really worried that for one my best friend might become just an acquaintance if things keep going this way, I'm worried that I won't be able to be the same way around my friends anymore, and that the only life I feel comfortable in is over the internet... and all this will be my fault for becoming the way I am.
I have deleted any online profiles I have (except this one because I don't know anyone personally here), I've stopped signing into any messenger for a few days, and I've told everyone I need a few days to think things over.
Anyway what I want to ask is:
Has anyone ever gone through something similar to this? (If so how did you deal with it?)
And does anyone have any suggestion what I should do during these few days? (As far as ways I can change to become my old self again, or change not necessarily to become my old self, but to not keep myself from pushing everyone else away?)

I would really appreciate any input anyone has to offer.
 
I'm no expert, but it sounds like you may have an internet addiction.

If this is true, turn off your pc and go outside. and leave it off. A few days isn't going to make this get better but a few weeks will.
 
It isn't the internet i have a problem with. I see where you may get the idea, but I'm not on here through out the whole day. I'm usually on here for about an hour then go off to do something else.
The problem I'm having is what it is I do when I'm not on here. Usually my time seems to be spent alone and that's what I want to change
 
So change it. You're in control of yourself, if you feel like you need to be around more people, then by all means be around people more, but don't put yourself in stressful situations having to do with other people (like a family event with uncle tom who buttraped your sister as a kid) because that will only fuel your desire to want to be alone.

Now, if this is just recent, over the span of a week or so, then maybe you just need some time to yourself.
 
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to, "accept it and move on" or, "just get over it already", I'd be rich. That is the worst advice ever.

I have never really had friends, so it has never bugged me that I'm a 'loner'. I have had the same best friend for seven years, and she was just someone who I talked to at school and occasionally saw on weekends. She recently transferred schools and it doesn't bug me just because we have never been close. The only other 'friends' I have are people who I talk to at school during lunch. What a close friendship!

I have no idea what you should do during these few days to yourself. If you don't want to be alone after that, then don't. If you don't want to be distant from your friends, then ask them to hang out.
 
Friends sound like to be a big issue in your life.

I somehow managed to have a friendship basically wither down to nothing and it just worked out for me.

just call him dude, its not like he's your lover (and if he actually is your lover then still call him and take him to a movie).

Don't even worry about it and just don't let that insecurity haunt you man. Its that, which will make things awkward and seperate your friends from yourself if you acknowledge it.
 
Ya you're right. Thanks that really helped put things in perspective. (and just for the record my friend I was talking about is a girl:tongue:)
But really I appreciate the help from everyone who commented
 
I've been there.

I still am there, actually. All the friends I had are all married and moved away. All but 2, one who spends his summers guiding someplace up north, both I've known since grade 1.

Then I moved away, so they're currently 1100 miles west of me. I see them maybe once or twice a year. I hang out with my sister and her friends sometimes, but there's not really a connection there. We share no common interests.

There's a guy I know who's house I go to occasionally for supper, but again, nothing in common.

Although there are a few people here who I've talked to enough and can call a true friend, even though we've never met.

Let's start a wtf.com loner convention thing. :tongue:
 
I say just do something totally fucking crazy.

Like the next time you see one your freinds, cut one of your fingers off, and just stare them in the eyes, completely expressionless, as they scream in confusion and watch the blood pour out of your hand.

Get it on camera if you can, too.


P.S. No ever really uses their ring finger.

Except for rings.
 
People don't take this advice seriously.

I wouldn't want to think what would happened if someone other than you craziees if they were to get a hold of it.
 
I know exactly what you mean actually. I am experiencing a similar issue, but yours is far more defined.

My advice:

No matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel or however boring you think it will be, talk to people. Do things with people. Particularly with people you don't know. You really have to force yourself to do it. Even if you think it is boring or uncomfortable. Try to cut off the "this is uncomfortable" emotional response. Nothing wrong with being a little outgoing, so there is nothing to be nervous about. The more you do it, the easier it will become and the more fun you will have trying new things and meeting new people.

Best of luck.
 
Thanks I will definitely consider what you said. I've been trying to get over it for a long time.. years to be honest so it's obviously not going to be easy to get over in a few days or even weeks.
But like you said there's nothing wrong with being outgoing so... I'll see how things go from here
 
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