A Question for MEN. Very New Relationship. Pregnancy Abortion & Communication?
Hi, I am 30 and pregnant for the first time with a 27 yr old guy I adore, but whom I have only known for 3 months. This is also the slowest evolving relationship I have been in. I don't know if we are boyfriend and girlfriend as the subject has not come up and I wanted things to unfold naturally. It feels like we are dating as we only see one another once a week, but talk every other day. I am not yet ready to have a child for several significant reasons I cannot go into at this time. I was picking up my prescription for birth control the day I found out. I wasn't on birth control because the last time I was about 5 years ago, I had an extremely horrifying reaction to the hormones and ended up hating my boyfriend, getting road rage, lashing out for no apparent reason, very noticeable mood swings. This created a major reluctance in me to want to take it again. After thorough research and talking to numerous woman, I found a method best or me, only issue being - I am now newly pregnant. I believe I am only 3 weeks. When I found out, she had to do two tests which came out positive, but I went in today and it came out negative. I am going in on Saturday for a blood test. My question is and I already know what the right thing to do is if I want a lasting relationship based on trust and integrity, but my questions is: Is telling him the best thing? Does he really want to know and be a part of the process, even though this is the same guy who hasn't asked me if I'm dating anyone else in the last 4 months? Nor did he ask me if I'm on birth control? Will this be a burden on him? Would a guy rather be there for a girl he likes, than not? Because I know I want him to be here for me, but I keep going back and forth on whether to tell him. Granted both of our problems are assuming way too much, lack of communication and my lack of responsibility for not being on birth control in the first place. Should I tell him or just get the abortion done and get right on birth control and of course - I wouldn't resent him in the future. Help?
Also, if I felt like this guy was my boyfriend I would have no problem telling him, but the fact is - I don't know where we stand. He is a bit passive and I have never experienced such a laid back guy. Its frustrating only about 30% of the time. When I am with him, I have no questions, no doubts about us or him. It feels good. I just wish I knew if he was sleeping with someone else or how he felt about me before this all happened. If I find out on Saturday I really am pregnant, there is NO way I'm going to ask him how he feels about me, if he's sleeping with other girls, while at the same time sharing that I'm pregnant. Thats just a bit much. Also, a girlfriend of mine suggested I tell him through a hand written letter. Is this ok?
Hi, I am 30 and pregnant for the first time with a 27 yr old guy I adore, but whom I have only known for 3 months. This is also the slowest evolving relationship I have been in. I don't know if we are boyfriend and girlfriend as the subject has not come up and I wanted things to unfold naturally. It feels like we are dating as we only see one another once a week, but talk every other day. I am not yet ready to have a child for several significant reasons I cannot go into at this time. I was picking up my prescription for birth control the day I found out. I wasn't on birth control because the last time I was about 5 years ago, I had an extremely horrifying reaction to the hormones and ended up hating my boyfriend, getting road rage, lashing out for no apparent reason, very noticeable mood swings. This created a major reluctance in me to want to take it again. After thorough research and talking to numerous woman, I found a method best or me, only issue being - I am now newly pregnant. I believe I am only 3 weeks. When I found out, she had to do two tests which came out positive, but I went in today and it came out negative. I am going in on Saturday for a blood test. My question is and I already know what the right thing to do is if I want a lasting relationship based on trust and integrity, but my questions is: Is telling him the best thing? Does he really want to know and be a part of the process, even though this is the same guy who hasn't asked me if I'm dating anyone else in the last 4 months? Nor did he ask me if I'm on birth control? Will this be a burden on him? Would a guy rather be there for a girl he likes, than not? Because I know I want him to be here for me, but I keep going back and forth on whether to tell him. Granted both of our problems are assuming way too much, lack of communication and my lack of responsibility for not being on birth control in the first place. Should I tell him or just get the abortion done and get right on birth control and of course - I wouldn't resent him in the future. Help?
Also, if I felt like this guy was my boyfriend I would have no problem telling him, but the fact is - I don't know where we stand. He is a bit passive and I have never experienced such a laid back guy. Its frustrating only about 30% of the time. When I am with him, I have no questions, no doubts about us or him. It feels good. I just wish I knew if he was sleeping with someone else or how he felt about me before this all happened. If I find out on Saturday I really am pregnant, there is NO way I'm going to ask him how he feels about me, if he's sleeping with other girls, while at the same time sharing that I'm pregnant. Thats just a bit much. Also, a girlfriend of mine suggested I tell him through a hand written letter. Is this ok?