A Poem from a Young Poet :3?

M

Mountain Lakes

New member
Good. and makes sense..sorta. not every poems gotta make sense though. i mean noone can freakin understand what shakespeare wrote, and hes been famous for how long?
 
Good. and makes sense..sorta. not every poems gotta make sense though. i mean noone can freakin understand what shakespeare wrote, and hes been famous for how long?
 
The deed of blood you gave to me...
I've changed to a flame.
A masked heroine-
Only ever subjected to lust.
But... for you-
A vintage Passion burns in me.
You are my addiction.
You are my kyrptonite.
You bring diluted blasphemy.
solar excitement-
a one-man genocide.
When all innocence turns to ash-
Welcome to the Romantic's Inferno.

views and opinions?
 
At a casual glance this sounds quite good,,,but, on deeper reading it doesn't make a great deal of sense.
For example, the first line is very promising...., but what does 'deed of blood' mean and how can that change into a flame, and then into a masked heroine (subjected only to lust)...these are just words.
vintage passion/addiction/kryptonite....okay - not bad
but then we're back to the things which make no sense again
what is diluted blasphemy exactly?, or solar excitement, and in this context what is 'one-man genocide'
So......my opinion is that you are a talented writer, but you need to pay attention to meaning in your poem.
 
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