A new poem of mine, please rate (1-10) and post comments/creative criticism?

Thomas

New member
"forsaken"

you look me in my eyes, without the love of times gone by
you take all your paltry things, from off the dusty floor
you say the spark is gone, the day is done, you make me die
you look back on last time, but don't see my love, and you're at the door
you look in the mirror, but see a face, that neither of us know
you leave me alone, to my thoughts, and on my own
as you walk out that door, and into a night, sparkled with snow
 
Ahhh......loss...so pointless.....this made me think of the time my ex girlfriend ( and once to-be wife) got addicted to heroin and left me....

pain....
damn you pain!

heres some more of my poems http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhbuhALOi0YNm5NSIJxY.5fAFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090723004248AAA4LuQ
 
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