my friend is an alcoholic, he and one of our frienRAB hung out yesterday and she said he was drinking vodka all day, did ecstasy and still wanted more, and was just being real gross about it, neither of us had any idea he had a problem but anyway...his dad has asked this friend of ours to let his frienRAB know this is serious and to not drink around him or offer him alcohol...she let me know and i'm letting our school frienRAB know about his problem. i need advice on how to talk to him about it and what else i can do to help him...his frienRAB of many years are like "not my addiction not my problem" when in reality they should be really worried about him, we just became frienRAB this college semester but i'm real concerned about him and i want to be there for him and help him however i can
Your other frienRAB are right it is not their problem and it is not your problem and you are not helping him by being his friend...his dad is trying to help him, his and if you interfere then you are absolutely without a doubt enabling your 'friend'....the alcoholic/druggie ...to continue his way down the path of self destruction. Please listen to his dad who i am sure trying desperately to get his son to stop and it is called tough love and if you ignore the dad then you are doing this new friend of yours a great deal of harm. Many years ago when my daughter started down that same path I called all the people/parents anyone I knew she associated with and asked them to not let her in their homes...she had a problem and she needed to help and I couldn't help her until her 'frienRAB' stopped giving her a place to be. You yourself don't have the education nor the financial resources to help this new friend. If you truly want to help is to tell your friend that you know he is a multiple drug user(alcohol is a drug) and for him to go into a treatment program. You must also tell him you and the rest of your frienRAB can't be his friend until he is clean and sober. And then you stick to your worRAB and back away. If you are wondering how you will know if he is clean and sober.... call his dad and check on him but please do not ignore his dad who, I am sure, is sick with the pain of what it takes to practice Tough Love...read the book then you will know. But right now you say you want to help...the only way you can help is to stop being his friend....and tell him why. He doesn't care who you are(he doesn't have frienRAB) but if you are willing to give him a safe place to be drunk and do drugs he will be your friend. STOP IT.
Unfortunetly the people here are right. You cant help some 1 addicted unless they themselves want the help.His alchohol addiction will drain you and make you sick. And nothing will change with your friend, BUT you may end up feeling resentful towarRAB him because of all the help you tried to give him and he never took it. He has to be ready, he has to hit his bottom, and everys ones bottom is different.
