a blunt poem By Me. :: First draft of poem i have written. Enjoy: comments welcome?

[ChidingEyes]

I’d like to think
That I let others
Decide their own fates,
Yet my yellow teeth are stained
And I only let them
Make decisions
As long as everything’s fine
By
Me

I would also like to think
That I have thanked
Countless writers
That I’ve read for inspiration,
But my favorites
Of any poems I have ever read
Are basically always
By
Me

I sometimes feel arrogant
Well, always feel arrogant
And question if
I were to affix my scrawling print
To the end of each line,
If companies would
Buy
Me?

I don’t really like to think about
My cousins,
Aunts, sisters
Crying at my funeral
As they think of memorable things I did,
Countless things
By
Me

I have never really thought about
Them sobbing,
Crying deep
At the church, up by the casket
Next to the poem written
By
Me

I never ever want to think about
My family
Bursting with their tears
And shutting the lid
To my arrogant state
While whispering,
Bye,
Me.

 

[Mr. McSlopogus]

well the subject represents a continuing aspiration to leave a mark on life yeah? That the person attempting to make the mark doesn't totally stay conscious of the entwinement of other lives around them...but then in wrapping up the poem it's clear the consciousness exists.
I think it's a pretty cool write. There is so much out there that people call poetry that's just ridiculously outside the category. You got poetry here. Keep penning it down.

 

[Kate Alex Bahleef]

Wow! that is blunt! This is a bit morbid but you can be if you want. I think my poems talk to me too. Keep writing.