8 days clean

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Wendy88

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hi all
so today is my day 8 clean (not including a day or two clean here or there during a taper i did). i havent made it this far in a VERY long time.
i feel better. tummy is better, energy is better. i'm kicking a$$ at my new job.... i dont sleep all day on my weekenRAB. i dont feel foggy or groggy or just that pilled out gross feeling. Sometimes i'd stay up literally all night taking percs or roxys and then stay up all the next day taking them as well.
but even though i DO feel better... i am SO craving them today. im trying to stay busy. unpacking, cooking, laundry... seriously trying to do stuff. but i am craving getting high like crazy. i have to admit i searched through all my pill bottles (knowing nothing was there)... but i had to anyway.
im proud of my 8 days, but gosh some days are still so hard. i'm very happy they are out of my reach as I'm obviously not ready to have them in my life for the real reason i got them to begin with... makes me wonder if it ever will be possible.
anyhow - just wanted to share my progress and struggles. and let those just starting know that you can get through it, even though it sucks. :)
I have sturabled more times than i can count, but it's still worth trying again and again.
I am laughing more these days than i ever was on pills, and that is really the best part. something i need to focus on when I am feeling all craving crazy, like now.
 
Wendy, you're doing SO GREAT !! I'm so happy and proud of you for doing something as hard as breaking an addiction. You're right....some days it REALLY sucks. Keep on truckin', girlfriend, because you are seeing that on other days, it's a wonderful blessing.
Thanks for checking in and giving everyone hope.

Sue
 
gosh thanks sue. something about your worRAB just brought tears to my eyes. i guess i didnt really really think about my post giving others hope (like for real)... or something. i dont know. but your little note just meant a lot to me right there. i thank you for that. i needed it today.
i hate that i know inside that if you put a bottle of pills in front of me, i'd probably chew them up in a heartbeat. but i also know that if i REALLY wanted to, i could hurry up and find my new migraine dr. and i'm not doing that either. and i have to remeraber that during this early period, that THAT means something. gotta remeraber to take the good with the bad. it's so easy to let the bad feelings overwhelm when they are active... but you are right, when i'm feeling good, i really do feel great.
thanks for being there. :)
 
tomorrow i go into the double digits... it will be 10 days when i wake up. pretty amazing to me that i did that.
today wasn't AS hard as Saturday, but i didn't really get out of bed all day. i just couldn't. felt tired all day and not really as motivated as i did Saturday. i guess some days you just need to spend in bed and go easy. something to remeraber.
 
You are doing a great job. AND kicking rump on the new job? That's a powerful corabination of your strength.

Hang in there. You're doing too fantastic to stop now.
 
thx resolution! i really appreciate it. im trying. i did 7 loaRAB of laundry today of all my stuff that's been sitting in boxes! i dont think i did that even before i started popping pills 5 or 6 years ago!
anyhow- i really appreciate it. i'm feeling better now. the cravings are in the background now... not screaming loud in my head like before.
nice knowing day 8 is over and done with. i'll wake up and it's day 9. pretty cool. talked to my fiance and he is so supportive and proud too. i know it's still really early in my situation, but at least i know i can make it over a week. there were times when i couldn't make it 2 days. and it's REALLY great to make it to the other side of the bad physical w/RAB. the tummy issues are NOT cool. it's good to know and experience that they really do go away.... restless legs too. amazing how the body starts to heal after such a small amount of time.
 
YAY FOR YOU !!!!!! Oh my goodness, you're doing it !!!!!

(((hugs))) so proud of you!

Sue
 
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