A concerned husband
New member
Our 6 yr. old daughter, who until now was well behaved, was having trouble in 1st grade the past couple weeks. All we could figure out is that there were 2 other girls, along with our daughter, and they seemed to “team up” against the other (2 vs 1). Our daughter may have been the "1" on occassion, and she certainly seemed to be on the "2 side" as well - with both of the others. Well, the 1st grade teacher said they had gotten in trouble, but was never specific, just that they couldn’t all 3 get along. As a result, all 3 of them, separately, went to the school counselor and there was nothing much said (and the specific problem(s) were not figured out).
Well, today, we got an email from a neighborhood parent (and friend), who also has a 1st grader who said our daughter was saying some very mean things to 1 of the girls mentioned above (“you pick you nose”; “you pick you butt”; “you eat out of the toilet”; etc). We are pretty sure this accusation was true as: 1) that girl has no political motivations (she is not 1 of the 3 girls) and: 2) our daughter didn’t deny it when we approached her with this information – she was more stunned and caught off guard. This behavior is unacceptable to my wife and I.
Anyway, we confronted our daughter, who had been acting up for the past couple weeks – likely because she was getting in trouble at school, and likely being tired and nervous with someone punishing her – at school or at home, etc. Considering we’ve been trying to get this information out of her for a couple weeks, and we said that she would likely get in trouble if she does anything mean (says mean stuff, or does mean things to another girl), we are unsure of what the punishment should be.
We both think it should be impactful and have some duration (as she is pretty stubborn for a 1 day, or less, punishment). We told her tonight that “a lot of her priveleges would be taken away”, and my wife and I are trying to determine what that means. We also told her that she is grounded for 6 days (because she is 6 years old), which I think is fair, and also will reiterate her punishment on school days, so she knows not to repeat this offense.
We are thinking this: no videogames, no night-time snacks, no playing in the basement (videogames, music instruments, and just a different place to go), and that everyday, she has to spend time, alone, in her room (she has some toys – not her favorites, and books). We are unsure of how much time (a couple hours, or most of the night). Of course she can eat meals, use the bathroom, etc anytime (we are not into abuse, just discipline). My wife and I are appalled at this, as we don’t use that kind of language in our house, but we aren’t naïve to what kids learn in the school system either, so we aren’t surprised that she hears stuff like this, but we are very shocked and disappointed that she said stuff like this to another classmate. We need discipline ideas or feedback??? (thank you in advance)
Well, today, we got an email from a neighborhood parent (and friend), who also has a 1st grader who said our daughter was saying some very mean things to 1 of the girls mentioned above (“you pick you nose”; “you pick you butt”; “you eat out of the toilet”; etc). We are pretty sure this accusation was true as: 1) that girl has no political motivations (she is not 1 of the 3 girls) and: 2) our daughter didn’t deny it when we approached her with this information – she was more stunned and caught off guard. This behavior is unacceptable to my wife and I.
Anyway, we confronted our daughter, who had been acting up for the past couple weeks – likely because she was getting in trouble at school, and likely being tired and nervous with someone punishing her – at school or at home, etc. Considering we’ve been trying to get this information out of her for a couple weeks, and we said that she would likely get in trouble if she does anything mean (says mean stuff, or does mean things to another girl), we are unsure of what the punishment should be.
We both think it should be impactful and have some duration (as she is pretty stubborn for a 1 day, or less, punishment). We told her tonight that “a lot of her priveleges would be taken away”, and my wife and I are trying to determine what that means. We also told her that she is grounded for 6 days (because she is 6 years old), which I think is fair, and also will reiterate her punishment on school days, so she knows not to repeat this offense.
We are thinking this: no videogames, no night-time snacks, no playing in the basement (videogames, music instruments, and just a different place to go), and that everyday, she has to spend time, alone, in her room (she has some toys – not her favorites, and books). We are unsure of how much time (a couple hours, or most of the night). Of course she can eat meals, use the bathroom, etc anytime (we are not into abuse, just discipline). My wife and I are appalled at this, as we don’t use that kind of language in our house, but we aren’t naïve to what kids learn in the school system either, so we aren’t surprised that she hears stuff like this, but we are very shocked and disappointed that she said stuff like this to another classmate. We need discipline ideas or feedback??? (thank you in advance)