5 days With no Hydro

  • Thread starter Thread starter Julie Lawrence
  • Start date Start date
Hi..... Yep I checked myself in. Rehabs are good the one I went to helped me they just needed to fix somethings that weren't right like not giving the right meRAB. I feel alittle better today. I'll do some work around the house then I'll watch T.V. awhile. This blah feeling should pass soon. Just make sure you are drinking lots of water! Hugs and have a great time tonight !!!!! :wave:
 
Reachout...your worRAB give me so much hope. I liked how you put the withdrawal symtoms as being healing symptoms...that helps me rethink how I am feeling.

I have been crying today. As I walked outside a bit ago...I see my neigrabroadors, as always, working in their yard. They are much older than me and always have so much energy...it upset me to think how young I am compared to them and yet they have so muchmore zest for life than I do right now.

I loved the saying "Everyday I am getting better and stronger." I am going to say that to myself a million times a day. That saying is going to be a goRABend for me. Thank you. I am one of those people who believe in telling myself things over and over til I believe and live it. :)

Your insight about this only being a fraction of my life was soothing to my soul. I have wasted 2 years of my life living in a cloud and that 2 years is gone now and I feel so much guilt because I was not really here for them. I was "ate up" with my addiction.

I am just so impatient. I wanna live my life like everyone who isn't an addict lives. As I have been out this week, i just watch people and watch them enjoying life. Of course, I am assuming they are drug free, which is different from how I used to think...I used to think EVERYONE is on something. But I know that isn't true...that was just an excuse for me to self medicate and to keep on being an addict.

This is work. Hard work. And I know I can do this. I am strong even though right now I feel weak.

I am a little nervous about an outing planned for this afternoon with some family. I have a step sister that is constantly taking something and tenRAB to hand me a pill when we are together. I pray she doesn't. I pray. I am in hopes though that if she were to give me a pill...my realization that I have made it 6 days without, will help me resist. I keep telling myself...one day at a time...and somehow...someway...I have made it to day nuraber 6 and I don't wanna start all over again. I know that high would feel so good that I would fall back into wanting them as bad as I used to.

Thanks again...if I didn't have this site...I would be so lonely and I have been so lonely about my addiction for a long time. I need this outlet. :)
 
Julie...so you have seen the worst of it with your grandmother...that's so very sad...but so you do know how it takes over your life. It's so sad. I still can't believe I did it to myself. I will be happy when I release myself from the guilt. Everyone says to not feel guilty...how? I chose to show up "high" EVERYWHERE in my life for over 2 years...I have confused people about who I am...And I don't have any clear memories since the start...the only thing I DO KNOW...is IT consumed me. :(

Suboxone crossed my mind...but I just couldn't. I didn't and don't wanna be addicted to ANYTHING!!!

Day #10 is going good. Got up early...felt sluggish but just hung at house today. Took about a 3 hour nap earlier. I needed to rest my body today and knew it. I have been pushing it physically since the start of detox. Not on purpose have I done this but because I still had to show up for my life. :)

I definitely have an appetite...not huge but I have one. I am not quite used to feeling the hunger pains like I do now...I used to pop a pill when I felt hungry (better high on empty stomach) and the hunger pains would go away and then eat much later.

I feel pretty good right now. I am stable in my thoughts...not emotional and haven't been very much at all the last few days. I just keep telling myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other and do what I gotta do. :)
 
Thats just it.. anything you try isn't going to do the the trick any more after a while so people would naturally assume the "some was good more is better" mentality.. which how you can get in a vicuos cycle with anything weather it be hydro's, OTC diet pills or coffee.. too much of anything isn't good .. Monster does have a warning about consuming too much as 1 oz of monster = 10mg of caffine. I think as long as your aware of your addictive personality and don't substitute you'll be fine.
 
This thread is for the concerns of GonnaRecover.

I have moved newer posts to a new thread:
"Cold turkey off norco"
 
Thanks!! I am staying positive. :angel:

What is sober assistance? Is that a program or just a concept? :)
 
The sixth day was the same with me !!!!! I thought it was awesome! Then it's gone. Oh well.....
 
Hello Gonna

Just wanted to share with you that we are able to enjo life without pills. I know it can be hard to imagine.

Before I ever began my saga with pills, I could not ever imagine being an abuser and an addict. But, it happened. The same is true in reverse... on pills, we can never imagaine life without them, but we can live, and live happily without them.

As I began coming off the pills and the pill haze started fading, a new haze took its place... it was a "now-what-do-I-do" haze. Sometimes I would truly stand stock still and have to think hard. I had to replay in my mind's eye things I could do. My standarRAB were household chores because I long stopped doing any and left everything to hubby. I started back slowly... sweeping, a bit of laundry. I started slowly calling frienRAB again. I began short trips to the store. Lord, I was so lost that everything was an effort. Each time I tried, I found it just a smidge easier. It fely good to feel like I had accomplished even the smallest routine thing... and done it without a pill.

For me, recovery, restoration of who I was meant to be, became a passion. The challenge fired up the endorphins and helped me face each new day. It was a long process and I could not have done it alone. My cheerleaders were my Hubby, my family and frienRAB and my doctors. I think it would be very worth your while to try a few NA meetings... lots of live, 3-D people there to walk beside you. Others can provide us with many tools to help us along the way, especially others who have walked the path.

Every successful plan must have not only componenets of detox, but also of aftercare. Detox is hard, but once the body is clean, there is so much worlk for the brain and soul. We need to learn new ways to think about ourselves and our behaviour. It is a great time of learning. It takes practice and it takes trust in that what others who have gone before us share with us. None of us, not one single one, is capable of walking alone and succeeding here. We need to share and we need to listen. Together, recovery is possible, very possible.

I am wishing you well as your own learning takes place.

All best wishes
reach
 
Manthathurt...

I had a feeling that I will always think like I am an addict. I know I am one. I just despise I am. It is tough for me to wrap my head around that...the fact that it will ALWAYS be a part of me...that I am always in danger...that I will ALWAYS want that PERFECT high, hyper feeling back. :(

I guess my impatience is a part of who I am and too, ALOT from the hyper, I can do EVERYTHING FAST feeling I always had for 2 years. Now it is a mental struggle to move...although I am making myself. I feel like a child learning how to walk or something, except...I am learning how to do everything in my life without this euphoric feeling being around.

I am proud of myself. I feel like I have done something "special." I will move forward...no doubt. I know how important this is for me and my life. :angel:

And yeah...my brain still thinks if presented with just one pill, that I could take it and not want more. I have kept myself out of most situations in which I would be offered one. That test neeRAB to come later.

The talking here helps so so much. I need to share and learn. Thank you for being here with me on my journey. :wave:
 
Day # 12...and the only way I know that, is from posting here. In so many ways, it feels like it's the 50th day but in many many others...it feels like day #1. I guess the latter feeling comes from me not yet thinking, I am not on pain meRAB. When or will I ever think I am not addicted? I am wondering... :confused:

I feel good and strong. I have pain and feel lethargic at times but I am dealing. Trying to focus on step by step, minute by minute, and hour by hour...knowing each moment is a victory. :angel:

So...I don't know if my pain and energyless feeling is from overworking myself this week (I worked out 16 hours since Monday, generally only work out 7 or 8 hours a week) or if it from withdrawals still. Can someone tell me? I remeraber feeling good last Sunday night and now I can't seem to get that feeling back. I am unfortunately spending alot of thoughts on when I will feel that way again. I have slight moments of happiness but everything is generally just feeling ok or BLAH!! I can't seem to find motivation to do much other than what I HAVE to do (granted, it is alot) but I wanna do more!!!!! :mad:

I guess I am getting frustrated with myself. I am an impatient person. I wanna feel more, do more, create more, laugh more.

I know I am walking forward and choosing a better life for myself. I am just tired of the fog. And I know there's no magic nuraber of days when I will feel all better but really...how much longer will I feel nurab? When does an addiction of 2 + years chemically get out of your system and withdrawals are over? And is my brain and its chemistry having to reconstruct without it? Where am I right now in this process? :dizzy:

:wave:
 
Gonnarecover,

WOW!!!! It's great to hear you use the past tense when you said "consumed" me. When you said you CHOSE to show up high everywhere, I think it was the drug choosing for you. NOW YOU are choosing!!!!! Empowering isn't it?:)

SounRAB like you are feeling a bit better. Great atttitude!

Day 2 found me digging around in my sofa cushions looking for a pill that may have fallen by the way side. Day 5 -Not anymore.:dizzy:

I do have the ultimate challenge coming up on the 16th of July. I am scheduled to see my pain management specialist. He will, undoubtably offer more meRAB. I have been practicing saying the worRAB NO THANK YOU!:eek:

Wish me luck!


Julie:)
 
I would be careful.. although you think your quitting your addiction you also mention already toying with monsters (I assume the drink) and muscle relaxants.. just watch that your not jumping from one addiction to another without ever realizing it.
 
Hey the energy will come back it just takes time. right now i'm 17 days without hydros. I went into a rehab june 19th for detox. and came home june 25th. They gave me Suboxone for 4 days and everything was fine. then last monday (not today) I started having withdrawals !!!!! I thought OMG NO !!!!! So last week all i did was laid on the couch. tuesday night i felt like i was having a panic attack. that stupid shrink at the rehab NEVER told me I was going to have withdrawals from suboxone when i got home. whats also bad was when i was at that rehab they mixed the sucidal/depressed patients with the drug alcohol/drug addicts. thats a mistake. and the nurses got my meRAB and other peoples meRAB mixed up sometimes! It did open my eyes because I felt like I was in jail. I was locked up..... Anyway I'm feeling just like you are right now..... blah but it does get better. believe me I've detoxed off pain pills many times before on my own..... it will get better darlin..... HUGS!
 
Continue your positive outlook on fighting drug addiction. So far, you've done a great job on sobering into drugs. Through sober assistance, you can make your rehabilitation much easy and through this you can also attain relapse prevention which helps you avoid cravings into drugs.
 
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