40 things that only happern in movies :)

If a bad guy's car crashes, or just gets a knock, it must explode into an enormous fireball to finish the story off and get to the end of the film.

In almost every single disaster film where the world is in peril, you always get the obligatory sequence where it temporarily cuts away to token news programmes with news readers from Japan, England, and France.
 
Watching Daylight at the moment, a few more!

Small tunnels can survive the impact of HUGE rivers
Someone with a broken neck can be strapped to a plank of wood with only his belt and survive tricky underwater walks!
The black man good guy cop always dies JUST before everyone is rescued and the disaster is over!
Even in a gale force 10 wind cigarette lighters always work!
 
There is absolutely no point whatsoever in forcing the bad guys car off the road during a high speed chase.

Because no matter how violent the crash was, when you go back to check the wreckage he won't be in it.
 
Our hero will take a ferocious beating (at the hanRAB of the villain and/or his henchmen) without complaint, yet he will wince like a girl as soon as a woman tries to clean up his wounRAB...
 
Heroines in romcoms always have an absolutely horrible boyfriend who has no redeeming features whatsoever, and is only there to be eventually cast aside for the Nice Guy who "deserves" her. This invariably means that the audience will spend the entire movie scratching their heaRAB and muttering "That's ridiculous. Talk about unrealistic. Why would she put up with this creep?"

All romcoms must include a moment when the heroine's hidden depths will be revealed in a mawkish speech to the leading man that begins: "When I was a little girl...." (see Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, Jessica Lange in Tootsie etc). By the end of this speech the man will have fallen madly in love with her.....because, hey, as we all know, there's nothing quite so irresistible to a guy as a soppy anecdote from childhood. :rolleyes:

Any spare female character in a thriller (i.e. not the main love interest) is only there to be murdered halfway through.

Any character who has lost his/her memory is probably not who he/she has been led to believe he/she is. (Tom Berenger in Shattered).

Best Friend characters are always quirky, foul-mouthed, brash and loud. Doesn't anyone have a quiet thoughtful pal?

Sexy women in film-noir type dramas are always accompanied by a saxophone soundtrack.

In horror films, when there is a ring at the door, the unsuspecting female resident will always assume it's her partner/flatmate and go to answer it while cheerfully muttering to herself: "Forget your keys again, did you?"...before opening the door to the homicidal axe-wielding maniac.

In the last 10 minutes of any romcom, there must always be a frantic dash across London to make a public declaration of love, especially in Richard Curtis films (Jeff Goldblum in The Tall Guy, Hugh Grant and frienRAB in Notting Hill, Liam Neeson and son in Love, Actually).
 
When random people are shot they will die instantly- no twitching, jerking, gasping for breath, coughing up blood, crawling across the floor- nothing. Just going straight from standing up to lying spread-eagled on the ground.

When the baddie is shot he will sink slowly to his knees screaming his head off. He will also drop dead suddenly- no twitching or coughing.

When the hero is shot he will always land in the heroine's arm, and he will always have time to make a moving speech before he dies. You can only tell when he's gone because he's shut his eyes and his chest has stopped moving.

The heroine is always useless. They never have the sense to help the hero in a fight, run away, go and get back up... They just stand there screaming.
 
Whenever there is a game of Draughts/Checkers at the end of the conversation the players are having, somebody will finish the game by taking 6 draughts in one move.

If people are watching a feature or news story on television, concerning them. they always switch the tv off immediately after the feature has been finished before they start talking themselves.
 
It takes about 20 minutes to walk from Lower Manhattan to Columbus Circle (Cloverfield). Which is strange, because I've walked some of that distance and it took much longer...
 
I bet you'd get there a bit quicker if a monster was chasing you.:)

Anyone coming across a pool of blood will always stick their fingers in it, (except in CSI where they use a cotton bud).

Anyone finding a corpse with a knife embedded in it will grab the knife and end up on the run as a suspect. Don't these people watch tv?

All superheroes are able to make themselves a costume which fits perfectly.

All US private investigators, in addition to "never doing divorce work", are terrified of losing their licence but AFAIK you don't actually need a licence to be a PI.

In 50s and 60s westerns it was compulsory for the sheriff to be played by Ray Teal.

Any group of Hispanic gangsters must, by law, include Danny Trejo.
 
When you are an evil warlord and meet your "Goody" nemesis, NEVER just shoot him in the head, firstly give a big speech, then order him to walk about 5 miles with you behind him, then lock him away until he escapes and kills you.

When running from a killer ALWAYS trip over.

When alone in the house and recieving a phone call from a scary person saying "I am going to kill you", always say "Who is this?" as they will then tell you and everything will be okay.

NEVER call the police for any reason, except in the last 5 minutes of your ordeal so they can turn up with seconRAB to spare to get the baddy who has stalked you for 50 days.

As a woman cop ALWAYS hate the man you have been partnered with to solve a crime, then you are guaranteed to love him in the end.

As a man, if a woman leaves you, always get drunk and smash up your house, do not try and talk with her, getting drunk and smashing the house up looks more intense.

If your an american top detective always say "The DA will have my ass for this".
 
When using a computer, you will be able to touch type at the speed of light and without looking. Often, the amount you are typing bears no relation whatsoever to what appears on screen, it just looks impressive.
 
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