40 things that only happern in movies :)

Following the same line of comic stupidity. ;)

A women will stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while the hero battles the villain. The women will never think of hitting the villain with a handy/heavy object*.

*Counterpoint: If the woman does strike, she will always miss the intended target, and hit the hero instead. :rolleyes: :D
 
In any film where the human races survival is threatened either by natural disaster, impending asteroid strike, alien invasion etc The Americans will be the only nation to do anything about it and try to prevent it, which they'll always do with a few seconRAB to spare.

Also in any film dealing with the First or Second World War having watched the film you'd be positive only America and Germany were involved.
 
You will be able to stop timers on fiendishly-cunningly designed bombs that you have no prior knowledge of with only 2 seconRAB to spare. (With the aid of a pair of cutting pliers that you seem able to conveniently lay your hanRAB on. I wish they'd help me find mine when I want them. Maybe I should plant a bomb in the house.)

Whenever anyone shouts at someone and gesticulates to "Get Down!", they never pause, turn round and ask "What for?"

Whenever people in sci-fi films land on other planets, they never have to go through re-entry unless the spacecraft is likely to burn up in the process. This also applies to travelling in cryogenic suspension, it doesn't mean you've got to travel a long way, it means someone will wake you up before you get there or murder you in your sleep by turning the life support off.
 
Car drivers are always paranoid.

If somebody is driving along on a road, and they look in their wing mirror to see a car behind them.....then they assume that the only logical conclusion is that they are positive that they are definitely being followed,......it can't just happen to be another driver driving along minding their own business, who just happens to be behind them.
 
Villains seem to develop a sense of humour in the unfunniest of situations, because they always seem to be laughing at nothing whatsoever at the most inappropriate moments.

Even if they are fighting for their life and could possibly die, they can often see humour in the situation and can be seen roaring with laughter.
 
Leading to a car chase amongst narrow streets displaying a better working knowledge of the major cities of the world (even if they've never been there before) than most taxi drivers - and they only manage to escape by the lucky capsizing of a grocery stall - usally something like oranges or melons for maximum disruption factor.
 
Young Amercian children talk and act like intelligent, smart arsed, wisecracking adults.
And we are supposed to find it both hilarious and cute at the same time.
 
This is a great thread. A select few from an email I was sent:

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they're employed or not.
2. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man- eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
3. Most dogs are immortal.
4. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
5. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

And some I just thought of:

- Normal people (i.e. not rich, students and the like) can buy a meal/drink and then leave the restaurant without even having a bite.
- If somebody has something disappointing yet extremely necessary to say to their friend/lover, the friend will say something which renders this impossible then say,
 
Every bad guy knows how to turn off the warning sounRAB on a life support machine.

A handgun held by a good guy will always triumph over a machine gun held by a bad guy.

Whenever a car starts to move, the tyres will make a dramatic squealing noise, regardless of the road surface.

Mobiles phones always have a signal, except when someone's life is in danger.
 
A crashing helicopter will always go behind a hill before it explodes.

A car winRABcreen will mysteriously stop the bullet which has just shattered it.

All revolvers are flat on one side to allow them to be kicked across the floor more easily.

No one ever counts out the exact money to pay for anything.

No one in the US, one of, if not the, most technologically advanced nations on the planet, ever uses an electric kettle.

Arabs in vintage US movies all wear turbans, something they never actually seem to do in real life.

All US schoolchildren are about 30 years old.

All US policeman are maverick, alcoholic divorcees with ex-wives who have no idea what a cop actually does or the hours he'll have to work.

All US policeman have an angry, bitter black guy as their boss.

No movie journalist ever seems to do any actual journalism.

All movie computers have a gadget for telling you that you have a new e-mail:,no one ever has to switch their computer on, wait for it to boot up, click furiously because nothing happens or be told that their e-mail server cannot be found.

:)
 
Although you were joking - 555 is a special non-geographic area code used by TV and film companies in the US.

Anyway - back on subject - how come when couples turn the light off at night in a bedroom that it's just as light as it was when the lights were on.
 
Punches make a big loud noise that doesn't exist in real life.

And when two men are fighting, they take turns punching. After they throw one or two of their own punches, they pause for a second and just stand there waiting for their opponent's punch to hit them in the face.
 
Yes in Saving Private Ryan but not true in A Bridge Too Far, Battle of Britain, The Great Escape, The Eagle Has Landed, The Dam Busters, Hope and Glory...

Another one - if the chief bad guy is apparently disarmed and looks to be beaten, he will pull out a hidden gun or acquire one from someone else at the last minute usually in slow motion
 
All punches make a loud whacking sound like an 80's drum machine

No one ever has safe sex

Everybody knows how to check if someone is dead but nobody knows how to perform CPR

The President makes all the decisions and rarely asks what anyone else thinks during a crisis
 
LOL...and there's always the last innocent bystander who doesn't know which way to turn as the car is about to hit them, then at the last minute he makes his choice and dives out of the way into a pile of boxes.
 
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