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40 things that only happern in movies :)
- Thread starter Arvinpman
- Start date
Whenever there is a high-speed car chase along a freeway, all the other traffic is perfectly staggered to allow the "chasers" and the "chased" to weave in and out unobstructed.
Anyone pouring tea from a teapot barely puts enough in to cover the bottom of the cup.
Anyone calling at another's house and is given a drink never drinks it.
Everybody knows everybody else's telephone number off by heart.
The red flashing ansaphone light always faces away from the entrance door so the person coming home can't see it.
After being hurled through a window, or over a cliff, despite gravity, forward momentum and weighing 175 lbs, our hero always gets a death-defying solid grasp on the windowsill/cliff face to prevent his 300ft fall (and you never see any pigeon sh*t on the sill either!).
Aliens are always much more accurate when firing their weapons early on.
Anyone pouring tea from a teapot barely puts enough in to cover the bottom of the cup.
Anyone calling at another's house and is given a drink never drinks it.
Everybody knows everybody else's telephone number off by heart.
The red flashing ansaphone light always faces away from the entrance door so the person coming home can't see it.
After being hurled through a window, or over a cliff, despite gravity, forward momentum and weighing 175 lbs, our hero always gets a death-defying solid grasp on the windowsill/cliff face to prevent his 300ft fall (and you never see any pigeon sh*t on the sill either!).
Aliens are always much more accurate when firing their weapons early on.
Charlie Scene [3LK)
New member
This list made me PMSL, cos its sooo true
available here
1 It is always possible to find a parking space directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2 When paying for a taxi, don't look in your wallet as you take out the note. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3 Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you are watching.
4 Creepy music or satanic chants coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5 Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconRAB - unless it is the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6 If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7 All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8 Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when German officers are alone, they prefer to speak English to each other.
9 Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10 The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
11 Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day, especially if their family have planned a party. Also, detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty.
12 Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the miRABt of a crime scene.
13 If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.
14 On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard.
15 All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags. When the bags break, only fruit will spill out.
16 Cars never need fuel unless they are involved in a pursuit.
17 If you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18 If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19 Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away, you will always find another one.
20 All single women have a cat.
21 Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22 No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23 If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
24 The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25 You will survive any battle in any war unless you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26 Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.
27 A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
28 It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when having a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.
29 One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once - it is called Stallone's Law.
30 When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31 Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star-pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32 Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man- eating sharks.
33 All beRAB have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34 Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35 During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
36 You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37 Most musical instruments, especially wind instruments and accordions, can be played without moving your fingers.
38 In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39 All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present, even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties.
40 Trucks use their horns at random.
available here
1 It is always possible to find a parking space directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2 When paying for a taxi, don't look in your wallet as you take out the note. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3 Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you are watching.
4 Creepy music or satanic chants coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5 Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconRAB - unless it is the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6 If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7 All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8 Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when German officers are alone, they prefer to speak English to each other.
9 Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10 The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
11 Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day, especially if their family have planned a party. Also, detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty.
12 Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the miRABt of a crime scene.
13 If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.
14 On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard.
15 All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags. When the bags break, only fruit will spill out.
16 Cars never need fuel unless they are involved in a pursuit.
17 If you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18 If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19 Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away, you will always find another one.
20 All single women have a cat.
21 Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22 No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23 If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
24 The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25 You will survive any battle in any war unless you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26 Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.
27 A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
28 It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when having a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.
29 One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once - it is called Stallone's Law.
30 When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31 Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star-pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32 Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man- eating sharks.
33 All beRAB have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34 Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35 During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
36 You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37 Most musical instruments, especially wind instruments and accordions, can be played without moving your fingers.
38 In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39 All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present, even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties.
40 Trucks use their horns at random.
Krusty il clown
New member
I'm laughing my ass off at this thread. It has to be one of the best threaRAB of all time here!!
Off the top of my head, here's 3 more ...
If you're a movie character visiting a restaurant, you take a seat at a table, talk to the person sitting opposite, order a drink and / or a meal, talk a little more then get up and leave without a morsel of food or a drop of drink having passed your lips.
Nauseating, brattish children never get killed but often "save the day" (especially in Spielberg movies)
If you're the hero's cheeky and / or loud black sidekick, you'll survive.
Off the top of my head, here's 3 more ...
If you're a movie character visiting a restaurant, you take a seat at a table, talk to the person sitting opposite, order a drink and / or a meal, talk a little more then get up and leave without a morsel of food or a drop of drink having passed your lips.
Nauseating, brattish children never get killed but often "save the day" (especially in Spielberg movies)
If you're the hero's cheeky and / or loud black sidekick, you'll survive.
haha, this thread is hilarious
Back to the topic
Mobile Phones are always old types, no colour screens or polyphonic ringtones, and they all have the 'Ring Ring' tone
Cars jump as they go over a hill very fast, defying gravity, and land with a soft bounce, as if theyve just gone over a speedbump
Back to the topic
Mobile Phones are always old types, no colour screens or polyphonic ringtones, and they all have the 'Ring Ring' tone
Cars jump as they go over a hill very fast, defying gravity, and land with a soft bounce, as if theyve just gone over a speedbump
Whenever someone expendible is fleeing 'something terrible in the night' they always run upstairs and amazingly find themselves trapped with nowhere to go.
Lifts never work (or despite repeatedly hitting every call button on a floor - at a bank of about 6 or so lifts - they never arrive) meaning a frantic chase up/down umpteen flights of stairs or the fire escape.
Lifts never work (or despite repeatedly hitting every call button on a floor - at a bank of about 6 or so lifts - they never arrive) meaning a frantic chase up/down umpteen flights of stairs or the fire escape.
Lazy Eight (∞)
New member
... their vision is also always crystal clear (not blurred) when swimming under water with no goggles.
Movie heroes can also swim under water without breathing apparatus for as long as they need to dismantle a bomb / save a drowning child from a submerged car / make their escape or whatever.
If you're an attractive woman, the best way to defend yourself against a mad axeman or a knife-wielding maniac is to stand rooted to the spot with your eyes closed, screaming your head off and tearing at your hair. Never, repeat never, run as fast as you can to put as much distance as possible between you and the killer.
There's also nothing like an alien invasion or a natural disaster of apocalyptic magnitude to make you fall in love with your much-hated ex all over again.
Movie heroes can also swim under water without breathing apparatus for as long as they need to dismantle a bomb / save a drowning child from a submerged car / make their escape or whatever.
If you're an attractive woman, the best way to defend yourself against a mad axeman or a knife-wielding maniac is to stand rooted to the spot with your eyes closed, screaming your head off and tearing at your hair. Never, repeat never, run as fast as you can to put as much distance as possible between you and the killer.
There's also nothing like an alien invasion or a natural disaster of apocalyptic magnitude to make you fall in love with your much-hated ex all over again.
When you meet a person in a bar / party / restaurant be sure to ask them out then immediately put them in a taxi or leave the party / club without getting their phone number or arranging a time and place.
Equally when on the phone - saying "Would you like ot go for dinner?" Can be followed by "great, I'll see you there" whithout saying where or when.
Equally when on the phone - saying "Would you like ot go for dinner?" Can be followed by "great, I'll see you there" whithout saying where or when.
... oh and I almost forgot:
If you find a crashed UFO half-embedded in the ground and surrounded by a strange blue mist in the middle of a lonely forest, always investigate it yourself (usually there's a handy large knob labelled with alien hieroglyphics next to a hatch so that you can open said hatch and go inside). Do NOT rush off to alert the authorities, muttering "f**k this, I'm off" as you high-tail it outta there sharpish.
If you find a crashed UFO half-embedded in the ground and surrounded by a strange blue mist in the middle of a lonely forest, always investigate it yourself (usually there's a handy large knob labelled with alien hieroglyphics next to a hatch so that you can open said hatch and go inside). Do NOT rush off to alert the authorities, muttering "f**k this, I'm off" as you high-tail it outta there sharpish.
viky_khanna
New member
What you never see it movies is the police report afterwarRAB! where every bullet and event has to be recorded!
Gun totting police men can do what every they want in the movies! they never have to explain them selves afterwarRAB! or even remember all the CrAzY things they have done!!!
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Gun totting police men can do what every they want in the movies! they never have to explain them selves afterwarRAB! or even remember all the CrAzY things they have done!!!
www.movieprem.com
Limited Free Logins: Information on Exclusive VIP events- register now!!
sutherngal_00
New member
Serial killers love hiding behind fridge doors which are conveniently large enough to hide behind
If it's a thriller the FBI will act stupidly at some point to help the plot along (thanks to 'the Die Hard law')
If it's a thriller the FBI will act stupidly at some point to help the plot along (thanks to 'the Die Hard law')
selah-cyclones-are-#1
New member
33b It's compulsory to sleep with a large mound of pillows so you're practically sitting up.
Remember Reach
New member
All of the above and more are listed here: www.moviecliches.com
The Mirror never compiled this list.
The Mirror never compiled this list.