3 months pregnant and boyfriends always gone, one week wants the baby the next...

Y

Young Mama 0609

New member
...week complains he doesnt..help!? My boyfriend of almost a year and I are having a baby. I already have a 2 year old, but my boyfriends been there for her more then her own dad. But he's broken up with me 3 times, he goes through these mood swings to where he wants to be with me and loves me so much, then he says he doesnt. He's also in a band and trying to make it. We just got into a nice duplex and he was happy and excited about the baby, and then all of a sudden he tells me he loves me, but he doesnt feel that spark anymore, he should have never came back, he doesnt want this baby, but he's not going to leave me. He wants to make me happy he says, but pretty much he's not in love with me. He says he's not that type of guy to settle down he has a dream of making it big, and now things have just been very awkward, i've been a little needy to because how insecure he's making me feel, he's been out till 2 in the morning the last 3 nights, he doesnt want to cuddle with me kiss me nothing and its hurting me so bad. I love him so much I just dont know what to do, because I know in a couple weeks or month he'll be excited for the baby and so in love with me. He works alot as well, he does have alot on his schedule, but I just dont understand what I'm supposed to do. How am I supposed to just go on knowing that he's not in love with me? I'm always so afraid one day he's just not going to come home, he'll just be gone forever. I'm so scared and confused and hurt, somebody please help me. I dont want to leave him, my 2 year old has grown so attached and has had a hard enough life because of her real dad coming in and out of it, I dont want to pull her away from him now to, and I love him so much. We;re having a baby. Please help...

also not even 2 weeks ago we were looking at trips to Mexico and Hawaii for our honeymoon when we get married, he's been asking questions about what kind of ring I would want, then he just dumps this on me, and says he was doing all that just to make me happy, but really he's not inlove with me.
also i wanted 2 add, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had. He spoils me, he does every thing for me, he came into my life at the hardest time and took care of me and my daughter, now he's working and letting me stay home and supporting us, he even cooks me dinner when he can he helps with the house, hes the best boyfriend ever I love him so much, its just these mood swings that he turns into a different person that I do not like at all and make me feel so insecure about myself. It doesnt help either, since im only 20 and he's 27, so I cant get in to alot of the places he plays his music at. Its just hard right now, and i need some advice.
 
Okay, Although this was a really long question, i could see you really needed the help so i decided to give my input. I would tell you the same thing as the other girl said, "he doesnt deserve you and blah blah blah," however i am quite confident you dont wanna hear that because im sure inside you already know it in your brain. Soooo...since you dont wanna listen with your brain and plus you are pregnant...i would tell you (coming from expierience) that you should NOT say anything that will further on this matter to your boyfriend. Do not discuss anything but positives in your relationship. If he says negative things "i dont love you" and stuff like that, just say "i understand you feel that way RIGHT NOW" ("right now" being the key word) DO NOT say anything further. If you start getting emotional or proud woman feelings that you feel like just saying "well do you love me or not cuz ive had it" you will risk him walking away forever. Bottom line, and i dont kno how old this dude is...but he sounds definitly immature. Young guys are always confused when it comes to commitment and such but as they get older they will become more intune to their womans feelings. I would bet you money that like you say, he will start falling in love all over again when the baby starts to come. By the way: musicians/artists/band ppl are all really artistic and exccentric and sometimes very moody... consider this a mood swing that he is having. If you dont push him to love you...he might just feel like "hey this aint that big of deal" and it doesnt have to be so dramatic. Its really not as dramatic as he is making it...but his underlying nature of a person probably seeks drama and is creating it when it doesnt really exist! Hope this [email protected] is my email if you need further advice on this subject!
 
Wow!! It makes me upset to read this, but I undestand you. The truth is some men feel they can say anything to you when your prego, because they no it's hard for you to leave. But he shouldn't be making you feel insecure when your carrying his child. U need to stand firm don't let him just say anything to u because he knows your vulnerable. It sounds like he takes his bad days out on you. Things may not be going so good with his band so he blames you, but he know it's not your fault. Always keep the ball in your court don't sit a be worried about him leaving you. Let him kno if he doesn't treat u right your gone!!
 
okay it sounds like he only wants to be in the relationship when its convent for him. he doesn't deserve u or your daughter or the baby ur having together. if it was me i would tell him he needs to decide if he wants to be a daddy and husband Full Time or not at all, BUT there is no changing his mind later. it would only hurt both children.
 
Please tell me he at least makes money playing in the band. If he doesn't then he needs to grow up and support you and your family that includes your unborn baby as well. Most bands never make it out the local bars. You know the song get a haircut and get a real job? If he is bringing in a decent living than fine. He does sound like a jerk. Lemme guess after he tells you he doesn't love you anymore this is when he goes out and when he's all lovey he's home right? Sorry for being a little rude but I write what I feel.
 
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