3 month old baby can you spoil them debate? and how to unspoil them?

[mommy2be000]

I have read every where on yahoo answers and websites to not let your baby cry like in a swing or in there bed and everyone swears you can not spoil a baby but i beg to differ. my son is 3 months he is my first baby he has been supporting his own head since birth, he watchs tv and loves watching you tube we watch 10 to 15 different youtube videos with out even a peep. just some history on my baby. now here's the deal I cant set him down to go to the bathroom, fix me sandwich, brush my hair or anything if i set him down the moment i do he starts screaming i pick him up he stops, as longs as he is being held hes fine but boy if you put him down he cries. Now so far i have been doing what every suggest and not let him stay crying in his chair or bed. a few times i have left him for just 5 mins cause i couldnt hold my pee or i was beyond hungry. Personally i feel he is spoiled and would like some pointers on how to go about undoing what I have done. any suggestions or comments? by the way im writing this while he is a sleep seems thats the only time i can do anything and aint that when i should be resting lol.

 

[Melissa S]

You cannot spoil a baby. Babies function on instinct, instinct says if you put him down he will die. It's pretty basic but it's all he knows. As he gets older and more mobile he will want to be down on his own and active but may still want you within reach. If you continue to think of his cries as instinct you realize the total fear he must feel when you leave him to cry. It's one thing if you are at your whits end and need a few minutes from time to time to calm down but it shouldn't be done on a regular basis. At that age I kept my son in a moby wrap. I had my hands free so could pee or fix lunch pretty easily while he was snug next to me and happy. As he got older he was ok in his bouncy seat for a few minutes and once he was crawling he entertained himself well as long as I was close by. He's 18 months now and plays alone quite a bit, he still wants his mom but he certainly isn't "spoiled".

Having a baby is hard and much more overwhelming and demanding than i ever knew. They make all of these fun baby toys, play places, and bouncy seats that I just assumed I could set my son down while I ate or cleaned. Piece of cake right? That's not the way most babies work the first 3-6 months at least. They need to be held and nurtured so they feel secure in their world, they know they are safe. After they are secure they become more independent on their own.

Get someone to give you a break every day if you can. Just 30 minutes to eat alone is amazing when you are a mom. Heck I was thrilled with a 15 minute shower when my son was that age. I know it's hard, much harder than anyone can prepare you for but when you look back it passes in a flash.

http://www.mobywrap.com/