25 and never been intimate with a girl. What's wrong?

S

Sachin Kumar

New member
just to give some background
looks: above average. in fact am quite fit
job: pretty damn good especially for my age. Am in the top 1% of earners in my country
overall personality: i'd say reasonably interesting given a sheer multitude of talents (and I try not to talk about myself)
confidence level: in all aspects other than the opposite sex, very very high. my job requires me in a leadership role and i have never ever doubted myself.

all of this kind of begs the question why I have never had sex, never kissed a girl or for that matter, even been on a date. I have plenty of female friends so its not like i can't talk to girls. I have had a couple of girls hit on me before but nothing has ever happened because (i know i sound like a bastard here) i don't find them attractive.
So here's the problem. If i find a girl attractive, I m too scared to ask her out. All the girls who seem to find me attractive, I don't find them attractive, and i really don't want to start anything when i know from the start, it is probably doomed.

So now that I am 25 and completely lonely, I have built up the expectation of the perfect girl so high (given i ve not done anything so long) that very few ppl match and when they match, they are so perfect that its intimidating,

Some help please?
Guys in response to some of the comments
as far as I am best aware, I may be a coward but I am most probably not a douchebag.
As I said i have plenty of female friends and with the risk of sounding a little supercilious, they all call me a really nice guy.
And the reason I have done anything with the girls who have been attracted to me, is that I have not sought cheap thrills, which would probably hurt them later, because I am not really attracted to them and hence don't see a future

i'm just being brutally honest here and really seeking a little help.
thanks again
 
you sound like a dick why don't you get to know somebody first not say your not pretty enough sorry. have you ever thought that you are a cocky bastard and girls don't find that attractive sorry
 
Sounds like you know exactly what's going on.

1) you think you are pretty awesome. too awesome for the 'less than perfect' girl
2) you think you know who the perfect girl is or is not before you even get to know her well
3) you're scared shitless that a 'perfect girl' will reject you
4) you are waaay to foccused on this.

and here's the best answer:

I dont think there is anything really 'wrong' with you. I think you're subconsiously sabotaging yourself by making excuses (reasons, whatevs.) You have a big long set of rules and habits that you just listed, to make sure that you never fail. because you never get the chance to try.

So get out of your head, drop all the excuses and reasons, and go ask someone out! If they are not the right one, move on, take it as a learning opportunity, and some good practice for the 'perfect girl.'

oh, and if you have girl-friends, why not talk to them about this stuff? we ladies love to help a brother out, since we all wish men in general were a little more chick-savy.

good luck!
 
If you see a girl you like then you need to go up to her and talk to her. You say that girls you don't find attractive come up to you, so you must be a cool guy when you're comfortable/not intimidated. Just try and be confident. Even if a girl says no, she will have a huge confidence boost from flirting with you. And if its rejection you're afraid of (which is completely reasonable), just know that being rejected will help you know what not to do when asking a girl out in the future. This will give you more experience and prepare you better for when you do meet a girl that you think is really special!
 
i see that ur an indian (lol ur name is indian which i recognise coz im one too).....i think its due to culture we have which leaves u behind in the dating department....i consider myself smart, fit and good looking girl and im goingto uni to do medicine...nevertheless i've had no luck finding date.......so i reckon waiting foe the right one is the best policy.
 
Don't worry about it!
First, don't lower your standards but try to adjust them; i mean what do you find attractive? try to find characteristics in a woman you can adjust or not adjust to and stick with it!
Second, make them want to be around you. Girls love it when the feel protected and safe with a guy. make her feel welcome in your life.
Finally, there IS someone out there for you! PLEASE keep your eyes and heart open! Be daring and try her on! If you already know it's doomed from the start (and don't try her on) and say to yourself 'not gonna work' let me tell ya IT WON'T!

I hope this helped! Good Luck!
 
you sound like a dick why don't you get to know somebody first not say your not pretty enough sorry. have you ever thought that you are a cocky bastard and girls don't find that attractive sorry
 
Sounds like you know exactly what's going on.

1) you think you are pretty awesome. too awesome for the 'less than perfect' girl
2) you think you know who the perfect girl is or is not before you even get to know her well
3) you're scared shitless that a 'perfect girl' will reject you
4) you are waaay to foccused on this.

and here's the best answer:

I dont think there is anything really 'wrong' with you. I think you're subconsiously sabotaging yourself by making excuses (reasons, whatevs.) You have a big long set of rules and habits that you just listed, to make sure that you never fail. because you never get the chance to try.

So get out of your head, drop all the excuses and reasons, and go ask someone out! If they are not the right one, move on, take it as a learning opportunity, and some good practice for the 'perfect girl.'

oh, and if you have girl-friends, why not talk to them about this stuff? we ladies love to help a brother out, since we all wish men in general were a little more chick-savy.

good luck!
 
you sound like a dick why don't you get to know somebody first not say your not pretty enough sorry. have you ever thought that you are a cocky bastard and girls don't find that attractive sorry
 
You need to lower your standards for the other sex and just loosen up. Open your eyes no one is going to be perfect or have evrything that your looking for. Just find someone that you can connect with.
 
If you see a girl you like then you need to go up to her and talk to her. You say that girls you don't find attractive come up to you, so you must be a cool guy when you're comfortable/not intimidated. Just try and be confident. Even if a girl says no, she will have a huge confidence boost from flirting with you. And if its rejection you're afraid of (which is completely reasonable), just know that being rejected will help you know what not to do when asking a girl out in the future. This will give you more experience and prepare you better for when you do meet a girl that you think is really special!
 
I once came across a blog that shows men what women really want. You can even write an email to the experts with your particular question. It's called The Perfect Male Blog and the link is: http://www.theperfectmaleblog.com
 
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