Hey Doc:
Well 5 of the six are easily fulfilled by the 1098s. In the twisties, she truly communicates what going on when your leaned over and she does it well. She's feels like a 600cc but really feels like twice the bike in comparo to my old girl ZX6R. The one I can't honestly state would be the right fit is the comfort for the wifey. I rode my italian 200 mi back and forth to Moto GP and I WAS in pain, traps, tris, and wrist...even the occasional one arm on tank didn't alleviate these pains. Main reason for this pain was I was doing zero twisties and all highway straight aways for about an hour n a half wearing a backpack.
As for your wifey on the back, the underseat exhaust heat might bake her right thigh if you cruise around town and she (1098) starts reaching 200+ degrees on thermostat.
But you will not see many Ducati 1098's or 848 with much regularity. She will often draw crowds at local bike hangouts and the she will seriously amaze you when go to the twisties. She is quite reliable...oh I just remembered. The coolest thing owning this girl is I became a Desmo Club member thru Ducati North America which gives CA Ducati Owners free towing up to $200 and a service hotline as well. Now that ups the reliability of owning a Duc.
I still think you should go with a Duc so you have no regrets and most women find the 1098 hotter than the Aprilia, which I think your wife would as well. Show her the brochures on both, see what she finds the better choice.
Either way, both bikes are more than enough to meet most of your needs. Keep us posted and include pics of your new bike when you get her.