Hello A and welcome,
I've come to notice that help is something that can be asked for more easily than accepted, in a person addicted.
I don't know if it lies in one's personality,the chemical irabalance created over time or both.
At night, it is easier to travel without being noticed. It could be that your locale is more quiet at night.
Spending obscene amounts of money seems to be commonplace because of the mentality that "the mind wants what it wants, when it wants it."
Narcotics cause people to either isolate from frienRAB/loved ones or gravitate towarRAB trying to manipulate them to get what they want. Many a bridge has been broken this way.
The fact that you noticed a problem is positive but you must ask yourself this all important question : "am I an addict?"
Many get hung up on the stereotype of the word and tend to shy away from it but it is simply a way of describing the insatiable need for something.
Prior to your using, did you enjoy any activities (ie-writing poetry,reading, watching movies) or had any hobbies?
Know that becoming "clean" will have to do with staying away from people, places and things that you associate with the substance/s.
Try to live in 24 hour segments and know that "today" can become the first day of the rest of your life, if you allow it to.
Now I am not saying that it will be an easy road but anything worth truly attaining and enjoying is going to take effort.
Depending on your location, going to an NA(Narcotics Anonymous) meeting may be right for you.
If not, you can try AA(Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, with the premise that addiction is addiction, whether or not it is in liquid form.
You may also wish to consider going to get a complete physical from your physician.
Know that we are here to share because we care.
Respectfully stated,
Phoenix