Like instead of telling me not to leave my coffee cup on the counter and to throw away the rotten milk, she fills my cup with rotten milk. Or instead of telling me not to put my wet towel in her hamper, she hangs it on my steering wheel. I don't get little games like this. My mother wasn't...
Butter, Bacon, Cheese, Peanut Butter, Pork Chops, Ice Cream, these things can't possibly be bad for you. why? they're effin delicious that's why!
Tofu on the other hand, tastes like spackle! Therefore it is deadly.