It's good. I love the way you can almost feel what's going on in this paragraph. Just from what you wrote, you know that it must be autumn and you know that something sinister is going on and it's intriguing to know why. So it's what will keep people reading. The only thing I'd change is when...
It's good. I love the way you can almost feel what's going on in this paragraph. Just from what you wrote, you know that it must be autumn and you know that something sinister is going on and it's intriguing to know why. So it's what will keep people reading. The only thing I'd change is when...
It's good. I love the way you can almost feel what's going on in this paragraph. Just from what you wrote, you know that it must be autumn and you know that something sinister is going on and it's intriguing to know why. So it's what will keep people reading. The only thing I'd change is when...