Phobias are learned behaviours, you learned to be afraid of birds because your mother is afraid. Being afraid of birds is quite a common phobia. If you want to cure it go and see a hypnotist or cognitive behaviour therapist, I'm sure it will be quite simple. I used to be scared of spiders, my...
It hurts the first time you have a penis in your vagina, all the fingering and horse riding won't alter that fact. You will be sore and a little swollen and may bleed. However it doesnt hurt that much and after the first 2 or 3 times its fine, otherwise women wouldnt have sex very often would they.