Maybe people might look down on me, or be disgusted with me, but you know I don't think anybody can be more disgusted or hate me, than myself. Maybe I might help a few lost souls who have been suffering with this too. May allah help me and the people who suffer this.
I am a female and for about 6 years I have been masturbating, not in my vagina but from my clit. For about 4 years I didnt know it was wrong because I listened to the Kafirs and their talk about it being normal. But 2 years ago I found out it was wrong, But being the person I am I took it as vaginal masturbation so i continued on. In the back of my mind I knew it was wrong, but I didnt care. I would go to disgusting porno sights and help my self to what made me feel good. But then i really took it seriously because i was embarrased and angry and wanted to stop. When I learned that any form of masturbation was wrong. I tried to stop myself, but subhanallah it was tooo difficult, it still is, and I don't know how to stop. I have tried everything and I can only go without it for so long the longest i have tried was about 2 weeks, but then i was back to doing it. These couple of months I have been stopping myself and alhamdulilah I have made progress. But you know the sad heart breaking part of it I know in my head Allah is watching me I have to stop, I have to stop. but i still continue ! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHITTY I FEEL AFTERWARDS. The fact I know i dissobeyed allah to make my self feel good for about 10 seconds. My eyes were watching something haram, I was doing something haram. the sad part is afterwords i start to feel a little bit "horny" after. Then this causes me to do it maybe a couple of days later. I am sick and tired of it. I have asked allah and continue to ask allah to help me stop to not punish me to have his mercy on me. BUT I STILL CONTINUE! HOPING ALLAH WILL HELP ME ! I am honestly sick and tired of it, and I am giving up I honestly don't know how I can continue on like this, wallah i am serious i am breaking down. Who ever is saying and who's fault is that. its wallahi 100 % mines. I think to my self The shaydan comes to me, knowing I will do it, helps me do it, laughs and goes away. Ya Allah! What kind of human am I?!
My question is... do you know any way that which actually help, I have tried scaring my self with the punishments of allah, I have tried remembring allah, and I have tried listening to quran instead (but i eend up doing it anyways), Wallah I have tried everything and anything. and no i will not try circumsision. I am even considering telling my parents I want to get married, but i cannot face them with the reason why I am only a teenager ! Maybe I need quran read on me. But anyways. Was there any females/males that overcame this problem ?
Please don't act like you wouldnt do such a thing therefore refraning from helping me change your name if you have to, and block your Q&A'S, and hate me for this and mock me etc. I am comming as a trying muslim who needs help from her ummah, and from her god. May allah reward the ones who try and help
salams.
I am a female and for about 6 years I have been masturbating, not in my vagina but from my clit. For about 4 years I didnt know it was wrong because I listened to the Kafirs and their talk about it being normal. But 2 years ago I found out it was wrong, But being the person I am I took it as vaginal masturbation so i continued on. In the back of my mind I knew it was wrong, but I didnt care. I would go to disgusting porno sights and help my self to what made me feel good. But then i really took it seriously because i was embarrased and angry and wanted to stop. When I learned that any form of masturbation was wrong. I tried to stop myself, but subhanallah it was tooo difficult, it still is, and I don't know how to stop. I have tried everything and I can only go without it for so long the longest i have tried was about 2 weeks, but then i was back to doing it. These couple of months I have been stopping myself and alhamdulilah I have made progress. But you know the sad heart breaking part of it I know in my head Allah is watching me I have to stop, I have to stop. but i still continue ! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHITTY I FEEL AFTERWARDS. The fact I know i dissobeyed allah to make my self feel good for about 10 seconds. My eyes were watching something haram, I was doing something haram. the sad part is afterwords i start to feel a little bit "horny" after. Then this causes me to do it maybe a couple of days later. I am sick and tired of it. I have asked allah and continue to ask allah to help me stop to not punish me to have his mercy on me. BUT I STILL CONTINUE! HOPING ALLAH WILL HELP ME ! I am honestly sick and tired of it, and I am giving up I honestly don't know how I can continue on like this, wallah i am serious i am breaking down. Who ever is saying and who's fault is that. its wallahi 100 % mines. I think to my self The shaydan comes to me, knowing I will do it, helps me do it, laughs and goes away. Ya Allah! What kind of human am I?!
My question is... do you know any way that which actually help, I have tried scaring my self with the punishments of allah, I have tried remembring allah, and I have tried listening to quran instead (but i eend up doing it anyways), Wallah I have tried everything and anything. and no i will not try circumsision. I am even considering telling my parents I want to get married, but i cannot face them with the reason why I am only a teenager ! Maybe I need quran read on me. But anyways. Was there any females/males that overcame this problem ?
Please don't act like you wouldnt do such a thing therefore refraning from helping me change your name if you have to, and block your Q&A'S, and hate me for this and mock me etc. I am comming as a trying muslim who needs help from her ummah, and from her god. May allah reward the ones who try and help
salams.