"Yay".

C

cookie.skittlz

New member
First of all, my life does not suck.

But, I'm not happy. And, fuck it, I came out of bed just to type this story, to get it off my chest, and now it's like I forgotten the nifty little post I had in mind.

Fuck it.

Anyway, the core of the "problem". I don't know why the fuck I'm living. Before people shoot 'you are depressed', no I'm not. I've been worse. I've wanted to die, I've tried to die, whatever. I don't want to die now. I just want a solid, clear and acceptable reason to live.

To change the world! Fuck that. I don't want to change the world. The world is corrupt. You got two type of persons who understand that. Revolutionaries and cynics. But only the latter knows that trying to improve the world is just another fucking waste of time.

To find true love! True love doesn't fucking exist. It's chemical processes, in your brain created purely to get laid and reproduce. I know that some of you can prove me wrong with happy marriages and all, but, I'm still to cynical to believe that. And hey, I'm still a teenager.

To get children! I will never be able to 'get children' who's DNA is half of my own DNA.

To find your unique talent, and use it! I can do a lot of things, and I'm mediocre at everything. I don't mind being mediocre though.

Now, I don't really mind the life I have now. I mean, chances are 70% that I'm going to pass my exams. I have weeks full of parties, drugs and probably some sex ahead of me. It's fun...

...But also fucking shallow.

I forgot what fucking point I tried to make. Muh. Nevermind. This is all for now.
 
Oh fucking wah. You know what. There is no fucking point to life.

So every minute you waste trying to define your existence is a waste of time.

Just be.

Thats all you have to do.

Don't take life to seriously.

Because you will never make it out alive.
 
I can relate to you, pal. My greatest fear is dying without a cause.

Sorry if I make myself sound like a nerd here, but here's a direct quote from "Naruto" I read often.
"So, why am I alive? My life has to have a reason, or I am the same alive as I am dead. So I drew a conclusion. I prove my reason for existence by murdering the murderers. I exist to kill all beings other than myself. I fight for only myself, and I love no one other than myself. It’s the only love I need."

And I can relate to that. Well...minus the entire middle part.
The point is, all I want to do in life is "confirm the value of my existence". Everyone around me is so obsessed with such, trivialites, it's sickening. I seem to be the only one who really cares about having a meaningful life. I don't know what I'm doing on this earth. I want to find out what my purpose is, if it has not already been fufilled.

I've ventured through many attempts to find out...but all endeavors have been in vain. So for now, I'm just holding out until an opportunity for an answer reveals itself.

I'm still waiting...

And forget DG's comment. "Just be"? How boring would life be if you "just lived" without having any immediate goals? Everyone needs something to work towards in life. Or else, your life will be boring.
 
Wow garden state quote how grown up.

To OP I have contemplated the same thing. Live life to be happy. There is no point to life we only make points so we feel as though we are more than the pawns of evolution and science. I say, fuck the universe I'm going to be happy because there is nothing else to do. I am depressed but I believe if i did more work I would be more depressed. People tell me to use my abilities but it takes work and you might not make it. If you give up goals suddenly there is only happiness.
 
Well, it is true that lust is a bunch of chemical processes, love isn't. We are only one of the few mammals who experience "love". If it were just as simple as having sex and then having kids, relationships would be so much more simple. Take the lion for example, the male lays around while the female gathers food. Then when the female is in heat, the male screws her, no questions asked. (I know that some people have that kind of a relationship now, but they are no better than the lions) Now with "love", after the screwing is done... wait, the more I type this message, the more I realize that all relationships are basically like that. Damn, proved myself wrong, sorry... your next question?
 
Well.. I'm a Christian, and I could sit here and preach to you about what, in terms of my belief system, the purpose of your life should be (serve God, uphold His word, and strive towards a better relationship with Him and a place in Heaven) but I'm pretty sure that's not what you're looking for.

Beyond that, I believe we aren't meant to know what our purpose here is. I believe that we're meant to live each day and figure it out as we go along.
 
The supreme irony of life is that noone ever makes it out alive - Robert Heinlein

haha sorry just thought that was funny
 
I know life is pointless, that's the whole fucking problem. You're born, you live 75+ years full of shit, you die, you're forgotten.

That's it.

Perhaps I'm fucking contradicting myself when I say that every possible goal in life is pointless, because you die. Nothing is forever, because, unfortunately, forever never lasts that long.

"Just be"

As in: do whatever you want, have no thoughts about consequences?

In that case, I'll get myself a gun and shoot some idiots at school. I'd love to do that.
 
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