Okay. I'm looking at many of the writers' stories, and for the 50-75% of peoples' stories I've read, I have an overwhelming anger. So much so that I want to kill your characters. Yes, I mean, I will personally go into your stories and kill your main character using paper cuts. Then I will make best buddies with your antagonist and go out to dinner with them and exchange stories of old times' past.
How do I know if I will (or already) hate your character? Well, welcome to my questionnaire!
1. Does your character have an awesome boyfriend?
a. He's the most awesomest of all awesomest of all awesome boyfriends
b. He's good, but he does have his flaws
c. He's a total jerk! He hit his girlfriend(s), too
d. None
2. Let's talk about love (not sexual). What type of love does your story have?
a. Romance! Romance! Romance! XOXO
b. Family, romance, brotherly/sisterly, and unrequited love (have at least three of these)
c. It's all about hate.
d. Doesn't fit in these catagories
3. How shallow are your boyfriends and girlfriends?
a. Lust time!
b. normal
c. Incredibly deep
d. no boyfriend
4. Does your main character have a relationship to you?
a. the main character is practically me, just with a different name!
b. I've been through some of the same struggles, but exact copy? No.
c. Absolutely nothing to do with me.
5. Does your story have a mysterious person who suddenly shows up with a dark past?
a. How did you know?
b. No, but I do have a character(s) with pretty bad pasts
c. No. My character has a normal life.
6. How predictable is your character?
a. Now that I think about it... not predictable at all.
b. Has a few quirks and a somewhat out-of-the-norm personality
c. Possibly insane. Yes, insane. Insane. (in... sane. Not... not sane. Sane... In...)
7. Do you like your main character?
a. Hate him/her
b. Love her, but can give him/her many struggles
c. Love him/her so much, I find it hard to hurt him/her
8. Are all the people exactly the same?
a. yes
b. no
9. Is your hero incredibly valiant and brave?
a. yes, incredibly, and can take bullets to the head to save loved ones (me: it's a shame they never use them...)
b. Often times the hero solves his/her own problems, but has to be helped by other people from time to time.
c. Totally and utterly helpless.
10. Essay question: How does your main character view the world?
Okay, I'm done now. Here are the answer key:
A: 0
B: 3
C: 1.5
E. 2
Now, tell me about how many points you have gotten, your essay question, and, if possible, please tell me about your main character and what he/she's hardships are. You can also go into a long rant on how much you hate me. Words are meant to be spoken.
Guys, it's just saying if I would like your books. Not whether or not you like your own books.
Has anybody realized that nobody is saying how many points they got? Or is it just me?
And also, please look. These are my standards and how I judge things. Don't get so emotional and cry like a pathetic wimp some of you seem to be.
Ahh... it's so funny to see all of you get so emotionally worked up. Very funny! Very funny! It's just amazing to understand how people are so much alike. You guys have no personality. So sad to be honest. I'm afraid this world is just filled up with very similar people. All so wimpy and pathetic... it makes me sad.
To be honest, I have been told to hang myself by my mom, but no. She has never tried to drown me in butter. XD
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
I'm pressing all your little buttons. It's funny how emotional you are.
Hey! At least I know my own faults, and I know all your weaknesses. All I have to do is just poke you in your weak spot as hard as I can press, and you will topple over as easily as dominos.
And trust me, the more people you meet in life, the more they will do that to you. They will wait to see when you are at your weakest and then... SNAP! They got you in a trap. In life, you are just the hunter's prey.
And I promise, I will kill the hunter.
How do I know if I will (or already) hate your character? Well, welcome to my questionnaire!
1. Does your character have an awesome boyfriend?
a. He's the most awesomest of all awesomest of all awesome boyfriends
b. He's good, but he does have his flaws
c. He's a total jerk! He hit his girlfriend(s), too
d. None
2. Let's talk about love (not sexual). What type of love does your story have?
a. Romance! Romance! Romance! XOXO
b. Family, romance, brotherly/sisterly, and unrequited love (have at least three of these)
c. It's all about hate.
d. Doesn't fit in these catagories
3. How shallow are your boyfriends and girlfriends?
a. Lust time!
b. normal
c. Incredibly deep
d. no boyfriend
4. Does your main character have a relationship to you?
a. the main character is practically me, just with a different name!
b. I've been through some of the same struggles, but exact copy? No.
c. Absolutely nothing to do with me.
5. Does your story have a mysterious person who suddenly shows up with a dark past?
a. How did you know?
b. No, but I do have a character(s) with pretty bad pasts
c. No. My character has a normal life.
6. How predictable is your character?
a. Now that I think about it... not predictable at all.
b. Has a few quirks and a somewhat out-of-the-norm personality
c. Possibly insane. Yes, insane. Insane. (in... sane. Not... not sane. Sane... In...)
7. Do you like your main character?
a. Hate him/her
b. Love her, but can give him/her many struggles
c. Love him/her so much, I find it hard to hurt him/her
8. Are all the people exactly the same?
a. yes
b. no
9. Is your hero incredibly valiant and brave?
a. yes, incredibly, and can take bullets to the head to save loved ones (me: it's a shame they never use them...)
b. Often times the hero solves his/her own problems, but has to be helped by other people from time to time.
c. Totally and utterly helpless.
10. Essay question: How does your main character view the world?
Okay, I'm done now. Here are the answer key:
A: 0
B: 3
C: 1.5
E. 2
Now, tell me about how many points you have gotten, your essay question, and, if possible, please tell me about your main character and what he/she's hardships are. You can also go into a long rant on how much you hate me. Words are meant to be spoken.
Guys, it's just saying if I would like your books. Not whether or not you like your own books.
Has anybody realized that nobody is saying how many points they got? Or is it just me?
And also, please look. These are my standards and how I judge things. Don't get so emotional and cry like a pathetic wimp some of you seem to be.
Ahh... it's so funny to see all of you get so emotionally worked up. Very funny! Very funny! It's just amazing to understand how people are so much alike. You guys have no personality. So sad to be honest. I'm afraid this world is just filled up with very similar people. All so wimpy and pathetic... it makes me sad.
To be honest, I have been told to hang myself by my mom, but no. She has never tried to drown me in butter. XD
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
I'm pressing all your little buttons. It's funny how emotional you are.
Hey! At least I know my own faults, and I know all your weaknesses. All I have to do is just poke you in your weak spot as hard as I can press, and you will topple over as easily as dominos.
And trust me, the more people you meet in life, the more they will do that to you. They will wait to see when you are at your weakest and then... SNAP! They got you in a trap. In life, you are just the hunter's prey.
And I promise, I will kill the hunter.