would you rate my poetry?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Smartical
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Smartical

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please be honest, even if your honesty is brutal
What if everyone was someone
what if no one was alone
what if we could all see it
as all the others see it
and no one was ever wrong
what if everyone was perfect
but no one was the same
and everyone could realize
a game is only a game
what if we fixed all of our issues
what if we achieved world peace
what if i loved you
what if you love me
we ask our self these questions
for better of for worst
when we really should be asking
"how do we"
oops, that was a typo, it is supposed to be for better r for worse, and i really didnt want it to rhyme, poetry doesnt always have to have s consitsten syllibolic scheme
 
change "for better of for worst" to "for better or for worse"

It's a good poem : ) thoughtful.

If you want, make it rhyme a little more so it's more catchy, because it does have some rhyme scheme in there, but then you lose it.
 
Well, you did ask for it.

I personally felt this poem sucked. I could not take anything from it. I did not feel anything. I mean, I could tell you made a valiant effort towards making a poem but it just didn't do anything for me. I could tell you were probably holding back which was a major turn off. How about looking deep inside of yourself, and come up with someone a little more entertaining to read. I know you could do better than this pitiful excuse of a poem.

Keep writing.
 
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