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Girlie Wisdom!
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
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A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
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One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
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My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
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The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
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The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
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Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
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I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.
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Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
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The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
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I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
This was an email sent to me, just thought I would share.
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
?
A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
?
One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
?
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
?
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
?
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
?
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
?
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
?
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
?
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.
?
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
?
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
?
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
?
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
This was an email sent to me, just thought I would share.