Would you consider this well written?

Write Quest

New member
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2875269/1/Sleepless_Nightmares

I'm not so much looking for whether or not you like the style, because I realize that everyone likes different things, but is the structure itself sound (as in few grammar mistakes, nice flow, ect)? Any confusing word choices, things like that.

Also, know that this is just the first few paragraphs of the introduction I'm working on - just didn't want to post too much of it.
 
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