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RLD73
Guest
If you have a problem with the religion thing then try sports.. if you are spending your evenings on the Basketball court (or whatever it is you do) then you won't be spending them drinking.
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kutuup
Guest
Hey all,
As I have posted before, I'm 21 and I have a drinking problem, I drink 1 to 1 1/2 bottles of wine a night.
I know in the grand scheme of drinking problems it's not an extreme amount, but it's still undeniably a problem. I usually start drinking at midnight and drink until the early hours until I get tired. I think really I drink because I can, since I never have to be up early.
Anyway, Am I likely to be at a stage where I have to quit drinking for good? At my age, a lot of social activites involve drinking, and if my recovery means I have to never drink again I think my social life would suffer.
I've been drinking this way for coming up to 3 years now. On the rare occasion that I have to be up early in the morning, I am able to restrain myself from drinking, mostly since I know I'd feel like hell in the morning, also, if I'm visiting a friend who doesn't drink for the night I can go without alcohol without too much bother, I usually just bring a long a bottle of diet coke or something soft and just drink that instead (If I'm not drinking alcohol I like to have something soft to drink or I get twitchy, but I've always drunk a lot of soft drink, so that's normal for me).
What are my chances of being able to go back to only drinking with frienRAB at social events again?
As I have posted before, I'm 21 and I have a drinking problem, I drink 1 to 1 1/2 bottles of wine a night.
I know in the grand scheme of drinking problems it's not an extreme amount, but it's still undeniably a problem. I usually start drinking at midnight and drink until the early hours until I get tired. I think really I drink because I can, since I never have to be up early.
Anyway, Am I likely to be at a stage where I have to quit drinking for good? At my age, a lot of social activites involve drinking, and if my recovery means I have to never drink again I think my social life would suffer.
I've been drinking this way for coming up to 3 years now. On the rare occasion that I have to be up early in the morning, I am able to restrain myself from drinking, mostly since I know I'd feel like hell in the morning, also, if I'm visiting a friend who doesn't drink for the night I can go without alcohol without too much bother, I usually just bring a long a bottle of diet coke or something soft and just drink that instead (If I'm not drinking alcohol I like to have something soft to drink or I get twitchy, but I've always drunk a lot of soft drink, so that's normal for me).
What are my chances of being able to go back to only drinking with frienRAB at social events again?
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Nicci57
Guest
I think the most important thing to figure out is why you drink every night. Do you like the feeling that it gives you?? Do you miss drinking if you go very long without it or do you feel anxious if you can't drink for a few days?? Are there any other reasons that you worry about your drinking other than the fact that you drink every night (what other problems do you think the drinking may be causing)??
When I tried to stay sober on occasions when I would normally be drinking, I would feel extremely irritable and anxious over it, but there would also be times where I would not drink and so "not have a problem". Be careful with that type of thinking.
You indicated that you worried for your social life if you gave up drinking, so does that indicate that being around it makes you want to drink?? If so, I think that's very indicative of a problem.
As to the social life, I'm 24 and have been sober for about a year now. To stay sober I have had to avoid many social occasions because they seem to always involve alcohol. It's true that your social life may have to change, but I have found it's best to try and find others who don't drink or who drink minimally (easier said than done when you are in your twenties!!) so that you don't have to miss out on social excursions. I think if you find that you do have a problem with alcohol, then you will eventually reach a point where social events will stop being "social" and will simply turn into "drinking" events. If you reach this point, your true frienRABhips and social life will suffer, so why not try and find people who you can have fun with and be sober??
Also, I've been to AA a few times but have a very hard time committing to it. I am also an agnostic/atheist so the religious aspect tenRAB to turn me away. I have heard that there are atheist AA groups, but I have never been to one. There are also young people AA groups which could be a great source to find others of the same age trying to stay sober. If you find AA is definitely not for you, maybe you could involve yourself in groups or sports teams that you are interested in that simply don't involve alcohol.
Good luck and keep us updated!!
When I tried to stay sober on occasions when I would normally be drinking, I would feel extremely irritable and anxious over it, but there would also be times where I would not drink and so "not have a problem". Be careful with that type of thinking.
You indicated that you worried for your social life if you gave up drinking, so does that indicate that being around it makes you want to drink?? If so, I think that's very indicative of a problem.
As to the social life, I'm 24 and have been sober for about a year now. To stay sober I have had to avoid many social occasions because they seem to always involve alcohol. It's true that your social life may have to change, but I have found it's best to try and find others who don't drink or who drink minimally (easier said than done when you are in your twenties!!) so that you don't have to miss out on social excursions. I think if you find that you do have a problem with alcohol, then you will eventually reach a point where social events will stop being "social" and will simply turn into "drinking" events. If you reach this point, your true frienRABhips and social life will suffer, so why not try and find people who you can have fun with and be sober??
Also, I've been to AA a few times but have a very hard time committing to it. I am also an agnostic/atheist so the religious aspect tenRAB to turn me away. I have heard that there are atheist AA groups, but I have never been to one. There are also young people AA groups which could be a great source to find others of the same age trying to stay sober. If you find AA is definitely not for you, maybe you could involve yourself in groups or sports teams that you are interested in that simply don't involve alcohol.
Good luck and keep us updated!!
I don't recommend drinking at all. I have seen many a family wrecked because of drinking. People lose their spouses, their children their homes and their lives and become bums on a street corner without homes because of drink. Stop now and find some nice frienRAB who don't drink. You would be surprised how many nice sober people there are. You won't find them in a bar and most parties. Try other more likely sober places.
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RLD73
Guest
This is my first post on these boarRAB.. but I can offer a little insight to the drinking topic.
My brother is an alcoholic.. He has been drinking daily for about 15 years. He can not go a day without drinking without getting sick.
Best bet for you would be to stop while your problem isn't completely out of hand. Once you get to the point that you can't go a day without drinking you will have a much harder time getting off the alcohol.
On the other hand.. I drink red wine sometimes.. and I handle it fine. Now when I say sometimes.. I am talking maybe 1 bottle in a night once a month between my wife and I (with a steak or something). So definitely much different than what you have explained in your post here.
As far as the social life question goes.. there are plenty of people your age that have enjoyable social lives without drinking. You could possibly meet some people at church.. or even AA meetings and find people that enjoy hanging out without alcohol.
They are definitely out there.. it will just take a conscious break from the crowd that has you feeling like drinking is the only way to have a social life.
My brother is an alcoholic.. He has been drinking daily for about 15 years. He can not go a day without drinking without getting sick.
Best bet for you would be to stop while your problem isn't completely out of hand. Once you get to the point that you can't go a day without drinking you will have a much harder time getting off the alcohol.
On the other hand.. I drink red wine sometimes.. and I handle it fine. Now when I say sometimes.. I am talking maybe 1 bottle in a night once a month between my wife and I (with a steak or something). So definitely much different than what you have explained in your post here.
As far as the social life question goes.. there are plenty of people your age that have enjoyable social lives without drinking. You could possibly meet some people at church.. or even AA meetings and find people that enjoy hanging out without alcohol.
They are definitely out there.. it will just take a conscious break from the crowd that has you feeling like drinking is the only way to have a social life.
K
kutuup
Guest
Sorry for the late reply!
I've done some thinking and I've come to the realization that I drink because I am lonely. It's odd, I have frienRAB who I can spend time with, but I find it hard to find fulfillment in other people. I realized that this whole problem started with my last girlfriend, things started to go bad, and she showed very little interest in me at all. In fact at times she was downright nasty.
From the age of 15 till I met my ex, I had a run of really great girlfrienRAB who made me feel appreciated, and then when things got bad with my last relationship, I lost all the confidence I had gained, and I started drinking to deal with how empty and lonely I felt. It's kind of a catch 22 since I have been single ever since (coming up on 3 years now) and I think my drinking to deal with my loneliness is a factor in why I haven't met anyone new.
Does this reasoning make sense?
James
I've done some thinking and I've come to the realization that I drink because I am lonely. It's odd, I have frienRAB who I can spend time with, but I find it hard to find fulfillment in other people. I realized that this whole problem started with my last girlfriend, things started to go bad, and she showed very little interest in me at all. In fact at times she was downright nasty.
From the age of 15 till I met my ex, I had a run of really great girlfrienRAB who made me feel appreciated, and then when things got bad with my last relationship, I lost all the confidence I had gained, and I started drinking to deal with how empty and lonely I felt. It's kind of a catch 22 since I have been single ever since (coming up on 3 years now) and I think my drinking to deal with my loneliness is a factor in why I haven't met anyone new.
Does this reasoning make sense?
James
K
kutuup
Guest
Hey,
Thanks for both your advice, I've decided to take a break from drinking for a while and see how I do. If I struggle, then I'll worry about seeking help, if not then I'm free
I would ask though, you suggest meeting people at church or going to AA. But I'm an atheist. I've never been to church and as I understand, AA's program is heavily based in religion. Can you suggest any programs that don't involve God? Seeking help from someone whom you don't believe exists would just be a waste of time. Please don't suggest I consider religion either, no offence but I'm really not interested or willing to believe in God or Jesus. I guess I've always been a man of science.
Thanks for both your advice, I've decided to take a break from drinking for a while and see how I do. If I struggle, then I'll worry about seeking help, if not then I'm free
I would ask though, you suggest meeting people at church or going to AA. But I'm an atheist. I've never been to church and as I understand, AA's program is heavily based in religion. Can you suggest any programs that don't involve God? Seeking help from someone whom you don't believe exists would just be a waste of time. Please don't suggest I consider religion either, no offence but I'm really not interested or willing to believe in God or Jesus. I guess I've always been a man of science.
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gohabs
Guest
it seems to me u will be fine. thinking of myself at the age i was the same way. drank all the time but as i started a family, the drinking stopped. very hard to take care of kiRAB when ur hungover. just try and stop and only do it once in a while. the novilty will wear off....it does for most. good luck. it u think u have a problem check out a AA meeting. u can just listen without getting involved. you sound like a smart person just by worrying about this. good for you.
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noonereal
Guest
yes it is a serious problem.
No one neeRAB to quite drinking for good. This is a concept unique to AA.
Only you can answerer that. No one is powerless to the act of drinking unless they choose to be.
No one neeRAB to quite drinking for good. This is a concept unique to AA.
Only you can answerer that. No one is powerless to the act of drinking unless they choose to be.