Will you please critique this poem . . . ?

Mixtli

New member
. . . and or trash it?

Her eyes
Are soft and green now
Like she wears a crown
And I
Waste my time somehow
Like I wear frown
And she
Looks over and laughs
At me

And now
Her eyes are
Hard and brown and dead
And we
Stand behind each others eyes
And shoes
And live a day of pain
That’ll never go away

Oh we
We will never
Never see
The daylight
at noon,
and the night will come to soon.
And the morning then will break,
and so will we now

Our eyes

Will then turn away
Turn the color
of grey
 
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