Ok so I am submitting my poem to my schools literary magazine, I would just like some thoughts, or changes you would make! thanks!
Murderer
So many things to say,
But so hard to say them
I try so hard to tell you,
But this irreconcilable act, overwhelms my true being
You are a stranger when I speak,
Of some foreign land
Where no one cares, if someone’s soul is burning out
Where the only thing that matters,
Is yourself and your concerns
I open my mouth, ready to speak
But the words never come out right
There's something in the way,
Adamant as a diamond, blocking my words
My screaming is silence to your ears
I'm dying from not being heard
But maybe the truth is by acting,
To hide this anguish
I am really killing myself from the inside
Slow and painful death
I am my own
murderer
And yeah, its kinda dark, but it was from a dark period of my life.
Murderer
So many things to say,
But so hard to say them
I try so hard to tell you,
But this irreconcilable act, overwhelms my true being
You are a stranger when I speak,
Of some foreign land
Where no one cares, if someone’s soul is burning out
Where the only thing that matters,
Is yourself and your concerns
I open my mouth, ready to speak
But the words never come out right
There's something in the way,
Adamant as a diamond, blocking my words
My screaming is silence to your ears
I'm dying from not being heard
But maybe the truth is by acting,
To hide this anguish
I am really killing myself from the inside
Slow and painful death
I am my own
murderer
And yeah, its kinda dark, but it was from a dark period of my life.