Will he PHYSICALLY ABUSE me if he has a history of it?

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Im 26. And my childhood sweetheart whom I've known for 14 years (we met when we were 12) have always been friends. I moved from my hometown 8 years ago, but him and I still stayed in contact and when I would visit--we always hung out. We had puppy love when young and dated briefly, but it was childs-play. We have NEVER had sex and up until recently, have both decided that we're ready to take it to the NEXT level, both sexually and romantic wise. He's planning a trip down to see me in a few months. Well---growing up---I recall witnessing two incidents in high school where he beat two girls bloody after they hit him in what started as a verbal fight. And I know he grew up watching his dad beat his mom. (his parents later divorced) Not sure if he ever had counseling, as we never discussed it. But he is HIGHLY intelligent, but I do sense womanizing/misogynist traits within him. But I love him. And I know if he proposed, I would accept. How can I be sure that he would never get angry enough to beat me?Quasimod---sometimes if not for the ignorance and callousness that leaks from people's mouth, their point could actually be well-taken. Work on your delivery, before you start name-calling in the sake of being a "help" to someone. Because it's no help to insult someone.
 
Do not put your feet on this path... it WILL lead you to the Emergency Room -- or worse.Please, Sweetie! Please! Please! Please!!!
 
If he proposes, you need to make it mandatory that he goes to Anger Management classes first. I am not sure even that works, but it is better than nothing. Don't piss him off.
 
You can't. Not unless you actually ask him about the counseling and get not only an answer in the affirmative but assurance that it's something that concerns him as well and that he continues to keep an eye on. Otherwise, given his history, I would frankly steer clear.
 
You can't, you need to discuss it with him. If he still has these tendency's urge him to seek anger management and counseling.
 
Talk about it before you go any further. I would also check out his criminal record to see if anyone has ever put any charges against him . Good Luck.
 
If he beat up two girls in high school, what is to stop him from hitting you? He sounds like a wimp to me for beating up girls. What a loser. I say run away from this punk.
 
It would be completely ridiculous of you to marry him, or even date him for that matter. Are you nuts?
 
You need to be very careful here. Unfortunately abusers rarely stop and will usually continue their abusive tendencies in any relationship they are in. He needs to have counseling both individually and with you to keep your relationship strong in respect. You need to bring the issue up with him and tell him your concerns, but I'd do it in a public place. I don't mean in front of a bunch of people listening to you, but like a sit down restaurant where you have your privacy but there are people around in case you need some help.
 
You can't be sure. If you are planning on the "next level" without talking about this with him and possibly seeking counseling with him to make sure your not setting yourself up to be a victim, then you really need to stop thinking with your heart and use your head a bit more. It's easier to end a new relationship before it gets out of hand than it is to get out of an abusive marriage.
 
but I do sense womanizing/misogynist traits within him. But I love himEver the "But I love him" tacked in on the end.Hey stupid.......you yourself said you sense these women hating traits in him. If you saw a dog in a pet shop and it growled at you, bared its teeth and snapped would you buy it?Sometimes gut feelings are to be acted upon. If you're smart enough and clever enough to sense these traits that should tell you something.However you can always revisit your decision while you're having plastic surgery done on your face and nose after he's beaten you to a bloody pulp. Just like those other girls.
 
Obviously you have a great concern already in this matter. Has he been in any serious relationships and if so has there been any abuse? I wouldn't make any decisions based on your memories of high school but beating somebody bloody especially a male to a female is a very serious and violent event. I would discuss this with him fully before the next level is achieved and if he's always been in the same town it would be easy enough to research the public court records to see if he's had any violent offenses involving domestic violence. Please be very careful and research this fully before you get into a committed relationship with him.
 
Now, I would say don't go through with it, but I do know a couple where the husband had a bad history of beating his girlfriends, but has not done so to his wife who he has been married to for the last seven years. He also gave up drinking, drugs and womanizing. So that's kind of one in a million. You need to bring up what you saw and tell him that it's a concern of yours and maybe for the both of you to go through some counseling before you decide to take the next step.
 
OK, so you hope he will not imitate his father. But this is exactly the problem. We all learn our behavior - how to relate to the opposite sex - from our parents. And, in spite of all our good efforts, in a crisis we will most likely imitate them.So discuss this with him. Tell him about your worries. Tell him that you won't mind him screaming at you but - knowing about his parents - you will not allow any physical attack. This is a fair approach and, if you will promise him that talk, even screaming is alright, maybe you could take a chance.
 
You cant. He has a history of physical violence under pressure so there no way to tell what would happen under the same circumstances. Hopefully, youll never have to find out but always beware, and dont be afraid to have him arrested for domestic violence should something ever happen. good luck
 
No way of knowing if he would ever hit you. But by his history of anger problems you may be at risk. At first he may be cool , and later on come out of the closet with his abnormal behavior. You really need to consider your safety long term. A womanizer, hummmmmmmmm just like me. But i have never committed my self, so i can do that. But if you want to consider a relationship with him, this is something else to think about. Will he also be a cheater
 
Don't do it!!!!!!!! You say you sense mysogynistic ways about him still and that confirms that he STILL has issues. My dad used to hit my mom and eventually stopped, but he never let go of his abusive tendencies. He continued to be verbally abusive towards her, even til this day! So you see, if you marry him, you will be sorry. Oh the horror. I can see it now.
 
You know better.When someone includes the phrase "But I love him." I hear Jerry Springer in the background saying: "Why do you keep taking him back?"So marry him but call Jerry in advance to get a spot on his show. Because you will need it. Abusers abuse, that's what they do and that's how they know how to attempt to control any situation.So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT and wear a red dress on Jerry so that I will know is is you.
 
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