Will any of these ideas help dodge a draft in the future?

T

Terry

New member
When its re-instated, if i show up to my draft board:

Wearing a dress and blowing kissing at the guy at the draft board

If i fake a panic attack and hit the floor, and then telling everybody i am jesus christ

tell them i am attracted to little boys

if i start licking the table and the floor, and playing in my feces

i start laughing uncontrollably and slap myself in the face over and over

i fake a heart attack and start hitting myself in the chest, and act like i cant breathe tell them i cant get up and to call am ambulance
 
Wearing a dress and blowing kissing at the guy at the draft board:
Nope. Assignment will be Army EOD. You get to look for mines and disarm IEDs. Nobody's going to care if you are wearing a dress while you are disarming a rigged artillery shell. They're going to be several hundred meters away anyway.

If i fake a panic attack and hit the floor, and then telling everybody i am jesus christ:
Nope, assignment will be chaplain's assistant. You get to draw fire away from the Chaplain while he is performing last-rites in a fire fight.

tell them i am attracted to little boys:
Nope. You will be arrested and your computer seized. If they do not find anything, you get to be Army Infantry or Marine Rifleman. Your new buddies in Basic that have children will be sure to give you a nice blanket party.

if i start licking the table and the floor, and playing in my feces:
Engineers. Private Mooky-Stink, You get to build and dispose of latrine waste.

i start laughing uncontrollably and slap myself in the face over and over:
Marine Rifleman....definitely. You are the first one to hit the beach Private Slappy. jump on that barbed wire so your buddies can advance over your back.

i fake a heart attack and start hitting myself in the chest, and act like i cant breathe tell them i cant get up and to call am ambulance:
They will check your pulse and BP right there and then assign you to Army Infantry.
 
Well move to Canada eh?

if you did some of that stuff you mentioned you would be locked up lol

just tell them you are color blind and might shoot at the wrong team

or your dyslexic, and cant understand the codes they give you
 
Terry, thank you for letting us know you're a coward. Please do behave in that manner at the draft board; we dont need people like you in our military. Maybe, Gods willing, you'll be institutionalised!

To answer the question, yes; your scheme will probably work.
 
Back
Top