wife wants me to ask for sex.. but?

[James B]

I don't like to bother my wife for sex, because more often than not she shuts me down. I feel like, rejected when she says no all the time, plus I have the physical discomfort as well. I told her that I would prefer if she would make the first move, to avoid this (its not like I ever refuse her), but she says that she prefers that I make the first move. Really, I think this is such a power trip on her part. She has admitted that sometimes she masturbates, when she is upset with me and makes me wait longer. If I used the same tactic, I might not get sex for a year.. so what should I do?