Why, It's, Who, We, One

T

Tyler C.

New member
Why?

----does the darkness spread at night?
----do we claw at eachother, when we could carry another.
----do they pick out our flaws?
----do we gladly accept?

It's

----the T.V. that seems to be teaching our kiRAB.
----the mainstream that guiding the train, content on derailng.
----the people who laugh instead of cry.
----our own doing.

Who?

----has the time to fight back anymore?
----are we to judge them, who are they to judge us?
----has the enerygy to repeal what they say?
----will save us?

We

----should not rest until we are on level ground.
----need to reverse the gears that perpetually drive us.
----have to recongnize the tremors before the quake.
----need to rise up.

One

----day we will make them understand.
----time is all it takes for them to turn around, back down.
----night we won't hear the sirens anymore.
----more chance to change.
Time for action.​
 
Way to go adding the completely unnecessary lol there, champ.

Triple A I can dig it, although I must say the picture I get with your ending the piece with One more for the road is basically the narrator/character in the poem/whatever you call this piece is more or less giving up and resulting to 'one more for the road' as a means to see the end/rest of the day through.

That may be completely off the beat of the piece, but a lot of folks result to drink to drown their sorrows/issues/problems, or as a method of numbing the voice asking the questions your piece poses.

Not to mention one would certainly do better with none inside of them when taking to action IMO. Again, that's all subjective but that's the tone I got from reading.
 
Thanks for the input...... I changed the ending due to it. You are completely right... One more for the road does insinuate giving up.
 
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