Why is my life so horrible and I am a good person?

[gina]

Well to start off about my self, I am a black male, age 18, And I am over 100 pounds overweight, Never had a girl kiss me, never been on a date, and didnt even go to my prom. But one thing abt me is i am very tactful and is good with words. Well my life is horrible besides never have been loved by another female, my family doesnt even like me, well my peers do but they dont count my Dad is from the army, u know how that is well any ways hes always ruined my life made fun abt my weight called me out my name and always verbally abused me and sometimes physically to, he pours water on me every morning almost and is always grumpy and personally i think he hates me. I have no clothes i cry almost everyday when i go to bed. My mom got a new boyfriend and she dis owned me and kicked me out and doesnt even call to check on me every since i moved to another relative house, i literally was moving around with a crate, unitl my aunt said i can stay with her. I dont know why they both hate me i am not a bad kid at all, but anyways. I moved and i have no friends out where im at, and when i talk to my friends i only call them to talk they never call me, like they just dont care. Like i doing this thing where i dont call anyone for 2 weeks, and sees who will check up on me, cuz of my new conditions NO ONE HAS CALLED YET. NO friends NO family NO females ( i never had a females number ever) well l despite all of that i had a great hobby, i was making intrumentals for ppl to rap on for a good amount of money, i love doing this but since my life has been going down hill i cant even make instrumentals no more and it was the only thing i had left in my life, I always think abt suicide, cus literally no one cares, I have nobody, except the releative i live with, i was always a good guy too ppl, in highschool i was very popular despite all these things, But my life just seems the worse, I pray everyday but its just like it just doesnt get better. Also Ive applied for at least 60+ jobs and i have been so cloe to getting all of them but it just never happens, Never had income either, my parents dont give me money, and they have plenty to give. I am the most depressed person i think you can see why. I always joke around and make ppl laugh thats what most ppl love abt me, but i just figured out i joke so much cuz its really shielding whats really going on in my life, not to mention ever since my life is getting worse i stop laughing so much. PLEASE DONOT PUT YOUR LIFE COULD BE EVEN WORSE IF.......AND DONT TELL ME TO CONFIDE IN GOD