Why is my brother-in-law so hard on my nephew & always spanking him, but

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kate O
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Kate O

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leaves my niece be? I don't understand why my brother in law is so hard on my nephew "John" (age 4) but goes totally easy on my niece "Jane" (age 2).

For example, yesterday we were all having dinner together. My Mom asked John to go get her a bottle of water and he said, "No Grandma".

My brother in law started screaming at him and snatched him out of his chair, took him into another room and spanked him.

However, my niece says "No" to my Mom, her parents, me and everyone all the time and my brother in law doesn't even flinch.

That kind of thing happens a lot.

My nephew acts afraid whenever his Dad is around and he's recently started imitating his little sister (ie: he talks and acts like a 2 year old) I guess b/c he thinks that'll keep him out of trouble.

He also seems extremely w
edit: he also seems extremely withdrawn, like when i bought a new friend over to visit, he acted afraid and kind of hide behind toys and the wall, while his sister ran up to us and started talking and showing off her toys.

Mom and I confronted brother in law in front of Sis, but she said nothing, so brother in law basically told us to STFU and mind our own business
 
I don't think screaming and beating a 4 year-old will do anything but leave emotional problems and scars. Also, add the fact that he treats the other sibling like royalty. That is NOT a good thing to do at all with children. Perhaps you should tell him to stop screaming at and beating his son and tell him to stop favoring one child over the other. I can't tell you how many problems this type of parenting can and probably will lead to if he continues it.
 
Alot of men are harder on their boys than they are their girls. It's NOT fair...but that is how it is. Most of the time they have been treated this way growing up. They THINK THEY ARE MAKING MEN OUT OF THEM and Protecting the Little Fair Maiden. I don't Agree with it but it Happens all the time. He is creating Resentment in this Little Boy. He won't just resent the Dad, he will resent Mom for NOT protecting him and he will resent the little Sister just for being.
 
He might get pleasure out of spanking you nephew (not trying to be gross)

might have different standards
or
"jane" is his"little angel" or "daddy's little girl"

it is now illegal to beat mistreat physically mentally or any other way to hurt your or any child you just have to call child services but you might feel not so good about that cause he is your brother in law
 
he's being tougher on him because he's a boy, and he's softer on your niece because she's probably daddy's little girl.
 
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