We have been together almost two years now, and we haven't had sex in over a year. We are both young ( he is 21 and I am 18). I was on birth control before we started dating and it made me gain 20 lbs (luckily I am back to 115 now, though I was never really overweight), gave me severe mood swings, and killed my sex drive. When I got off of it I was a lot happier and I told him the only way I would get back on it was if he went with me to the DR, and he refused. After about six months of me and my boyfriend being sexually active we had a condom brake and I took plan B and my period ended up being late so we took a pregnancy test. Luckily I wasn't pregnant and I started my period a few days later.. but a couple days after that we found out my cousin had accidentally gotten pregnant... This is around the time we stopped having sex. Two of his sisters have had accidental pregnancies in the past also, and a third just lost her accidental pregnancy a couple months ago. We have known a lot of girls that have gotten pregnant, and it scares us both. We really do not want children right now.
We have fun messing around in the bedroom and over the past year it hasn't really bothered me that we don't have sex.. But now we live together and lately we have been talking a lot about how his sister needs to get on birth control, so in conversation I asked if I got on birth control (the shot) if he would want to start having sex again and he got offended and flat out said, "No.". I was all together crushed at the thought my own boyfriend didn't want to have sex with me.. but got up the courage to ask him why.. he replied with, "because I don't want to". So I was quiet angry with him and told him that if we were going to have a healthy relationship we needed to talk about these things, so he told me that he just didn't want kids. I told him that that was fair enough and I just dropped the conversation.
Is this normal? How can I try to talk to him about this? He is the type of person that doesn't really like to be questioned..
We also used to say I love you every day, but we broke up for a couple weeks ago last December and just haven't said it since.. He has told me he still does love me.. he just will not say the words, "I love you." He says that we aren't there yet and these things take time. He knows this bothers me more than anything... but I just don't bring it up very often because it's not worth arguing over.. We are ultimately very happy.
He didn't used to be like this.. What is his problem?
We have fun messing around in the bedroom and over the past year it hasn't really bothered me that we don't have sex.. But now we live together and lately we have been talking a lot about how his sister needs to get on birth control, so in conversation I asked if I got on birth control (the shot) if he would want to start having sex again and he got offended and flat out said, "No.". I was all together crushed at the thought my own boyfriend didn't want to have sex with me.. but got up the courage to ask him why.. he replied with, "because I don't want to". So I was quiet angry with him and told him that if we were going to have a healthy relationship we needed to talk about these things, so he told me that he just didn't want kids. I told him that that was fair enough and I just dropped the conversation.
Is this normal? How can I try to talk to him about this? He is the type of person that doesn't really like to be questioned..
We also used to say I love you every day, but we broke up for a couple weeks ago last December and just haven't said it since.. He has told me he still does love me.. he just will not say the words, "I love you." He says that we aren't there yet and these things take time. He knows this bothers me more than anything... but I just don't bring it up very often because it's not worth arguing over.. We are ultimately very happy.
He didn't used to be like this.. What is his problem?