Always, every year, she'll bring up something I did long before they came and she'll do it out of the blue...she'll find a way to introduce it. And it's obvious she tells them so they can lecture me or w/e.
I'm 19 btw. After we all moved into the apartment, she was at work and my sister had already started school. So I unpacked the kitchen boxes. There were too many cookbooks and magazines; they would not all fit in the cupboards and there was no room in the bedrooms. So, I threw away the magazines (Good Housekeeping kind of stuff) and old/run down paper-cover cookbooks. She was really upset about it. This was several months ago (4-5mths) Anytime she wanted to do a recipe, she'd say the same thing over again, "You threw it out?! I can't believe you threw out my recipe!" and would be angry for a while. And my sister would say, "Mom, it wasn't that great anyway. Mom, it's not that important." Tonight, she came into my room (my grandparents in the other room) and yelled this after deciding she'd wanted to make bread. I didn't want her yelling so I didn't argue back; I just asked her to stop yelling. She was out in the kitchen later w/ the grandparents and said "I don't have my recipe book with the banana bread recipe". My grandma, content where she was, simply said "hm" and my mom continued "I'd had that all the way back when I was in college...my breads, those wheat muffins (that she never makes)..." and I closed my bedroom door.
Just a moment ago, I heard them in hall. I hadn't heard what they were saying before, but I heard from my mom, "Victoria threw away my cookbooks." "She did?" "Yeah, there wasn't room and she just threw them away" "Just like that...hm?" "Yeah" And they started discussing how I had not done the dishes that night and etc.... And I don't know if I'll get a lecture tomorrow or w/e...it's what I feared when my mom said they'd be coming down.
Because, every Christmas, there is always some huge fight. With my grandparents, it's always because of something my mom relays to them and they bring it up out of nowhere and go on the rest of the night about it. There is always something bad about me. I'm 19 and attending college while staying here and my biggest fear was that they'd come down and start going on about how my mom is no longer required to house me here and that I should be kicked out or leave (I have no where else to go though I would like to be on my own and away for good) But my mom just always tries to play the sorry card, is always complaining to them about someone (coworkers/bosses, and me) I'll let you know too, that my mom had anxiety(still does), depresson, anger problems and had narcissistic qualities while I was growing up. She never told me she loved me, never complimented me(never said I was beautiful), never hugged me...but was physical. If she was angry, she'd physically attack me (pull me by the hair up the stairs, just start going at my face, tried overturning the table on me a couple times, etc etc..I'd get nosebleeds and scratches...had a black eye once...
And everytime I'm with my grandparents, I'm tense. I'm a bit scared of them. Because she always complained about me to them so much that everytime I saw them, I'd have to go through a lecture or argument. And they never knew the extreme way my mom would handle problems(she'd complain that I always ran and locked myself in my room or the garage but would never say it was because she'd been chasing me)
Well, my sister hinted at it to my grandma once (that my mom would hit me) and my grandma said "I'm glad she's doing something. I didn't think she was punishing her at all" and later apologized to my sister for saying that.
And once I'm out, I don't plan on keeping much in touch. All parents do it, but this is too much.
I'm 19 btw. After we all moved into the apartment, she was at work and my sister had already started school. So I unpacked the kitchen boxes. There were too many cookbooks and magazines; they would not all fit in the cupboards and there was no room in the bedrooms. So, I threw away the magazines (Good Housekeeping kind of stuff) and old/run down paper-cover cookbooks. She was really upset about it. This was several months ago (4-5mths) Anytime she wanted to do a recipe, she'd say the same thing over again, "You threw it out?! I can't believe you threw out my recipe!" and would be angry for a while. And my sister would say, "Mom, it wasn't that great anyway. Mom, it's not that important." Tonight, she came into my room (my grandparents in the other room) and yelled this after deciding she'd wanted to make bread. I didn't want her yelling so I didn't argue back; I just asked her to stop yelling. She was out in the kitchen later w/ the grandparents and said "I don't have my recipe book with the banana bread recipe". My grandma, content where she was, simply said "hm" and my mom continued "I'd had that all the way back when I was in college...my breads, those wheat muffins (that she never makes)..." and I closed my bedroom door.
Just a moment ago, I heard them in hall. I hadn't heard what they were saying before, but I heard from my mom, "Victoria threw away my cookbooks." "She did?" "Yeah, there wasn't room and she just threw them away" "Just like that...hm?" "Yeah" And they started discussing how I had not done the dishes that night and etc.... And I don't know if I'll get a lecture tomorrow or w/e...it's what I feared when my mom said they'd be coming down.
Because, every Christmas, there is always some huge fight. With my grandparents, it's always because of something my mom relays to them and they bring it up out of nowhere and go on the rest of the night about it. There is always something bad about me. I'm 19 and attending college while staying here and my biggest fear was that they'd come down and start going on about how my mom is no longer required to house me here and that I should be kicked out or leave (I have no where else to go though I would like to be on my own and away for good) But my mom just always tries to play the sorry card, is always complaining to them about someone (coworkers/bosses, and me) I'll let you know too, that my mom had anxiety(still does), depresson, anger problems and had narcissistic qualities while I was growing up. She never told me she loved me, never complimented me(never said I was beautiful), never hugged me...but was physical. If she was angry, she'd physically attack me (pull me by the hair up the stairs, just start going at my face, tried overturning the table on me a couple times, etc etc..I'd get nosebleeds and scratches...had a black eye once...
And everytime I'm with my grandparents, I'm tense. I'm a bit scared of them. Because she always complained about me to them so much that everytime I saw them, I'd have to go through a lecture or argument. And they never knew the extreme way my mom would handle problems(she'd complain that I always ran and locked myself in my room or the garage but would never say it was because she'd been chasing me)
Well, my sister hinted at it to my grandma once (that my mom would hit me) and my grandma said "I'm glad she's doing something. I didn't think she was punishing her at all" and later apologized to my sister for saying that.
And once I'm out, I don't plan on keeping much in touch. All parents do it, but this is too much.