background: close (or so i thought) brother (31, married and 2 kids) and sister (me, 33, married with 3 kids) with divorced parents who can't be in the same room. also mum can't/won't be in same room as my husband or his father. as a consequence each Christmas me or my brother get my mum or dad and don't get to spend Christmas day together.
So, a few weeks back we decided that we would go to the pub on boxing day and spend it with the kids and my dad (i had dad this year). i got a text last night from my sister in law saying my brother wanted to spend the day with just her and the kids at home and she was sorry, i immediately text back saying how we'd spoke about having boxing day as ours and it was such a shame that the kids (who are all under 5) don't get to spend much time together as it is etc.
btw - a friend owns the pub and gives us a side room when we meet so the kids are not mixing with the drunks in case you were wondering)
anyway. this morning, on facebook, is a status update from my sister in law saying she is off to the pub, then i get a text message a while later saying what a lovely time they are having.
my dad says i should get used to them letting me down as this isn't the first time but i always try to maintain the relationship so that the kids stay connected as i do believe family is important. my friends can't believe what was put on facebook but obviously they are going to take my side so i was wondering if anybody else has a similar experience and whether i should just let them go?
we (me, hubby, kids and dad) have already decided we are going to go away for next christmas to avoid the hassle.
just after thoughts. and yes I'm aware my capitalisation and grammar is awful but just wanted to get thoughts down quickly.
should also say that other let downs have been the week before i was due to give birth i arranged a night out for the girls as i knew i wouldn't get one for a while and got a text from her saying she didn't want to come out and wanted to do something for herself, knowing how hard i find it to get hubby home from work in time to go out. then found out she went for dinner.
what to do? just wonder if i'm being too soft or too harsh? i adore my nephews and would love to spend as much time as i can with them, and i bend over backwards for changed plans etc.
thanks for your thoughts...
So, a few weeks back we decided that we would go to the pub on boxing day and spend it with the kids and my dad (i had dad this year). i got a text last night from my sister in law saying my brother wanted to spend the day with just her and the kids at home and she was sorry, i immediately text back saying how we'd spoke about having boxing day as ours and it was such a shame that the kids (who are all under 5) don't get to spend much time together as it is etc.
btw - a friend owns the pub and gives us a side room when we meet so the kids are not mixing with the drunks in case you were wondering)
anyway. this morning, on facebook, is a status update from my sister in law saying she is off to the pub, then i get a text message a while later saying what a lovely time they are having.
my dad says i should get used to them letting me down as this isn't the first time but i always try to maintain the relationship so that the kids stay connected as i do believe family is important. my friends can't believe what was put on facebook but obviously they are going to take my side so i was wondering if anybody else has a similar experience and whether i should just let them go?
we (me, hubby, kids and dad) have already decided we are going to go away for next christmas to avoid the hassle.
just after thoughts. and yes I'm aware my capitalisation and grammar is awful but just wanted to get thoughts down quickly.
should also say that other let downs have been the week before i was due to give birth i arranged a night out for the girls as i knew i wouldn't get one for a while and got a text from her saying she didn't want to come out and wanted to do something for herself, knowing how hard i find it to get hubby home from work in time to go out. then found out she went for dinner.
what to do? just wonder if i'm being too soft or too harsh? i adore my nephews and would love to spend as much time as i can with them, and i bend over backwards for changed plans etc.
thanks for your thoughts...