Just yesterday I overheard my mother comparing me to my brother who was constantly in trouble at school while I "earned straight A's" which maybe she was talking about elementary school because I was earning C's by the time I hit Jr High because I had no desire to do any homework, nor did I have anyone at home checking or making sure that I did it. Then she says "Now she's married with two kids and doesn't have a job and is just gross" She even told my 5 year old son that I was dirty.
So being a SAHM apparently is gross and the daughter SHE raised is a filthy slob. Granted my mother is a germaphobe and a neat freak, even though she pays house cleaners to clean her house once a week. I'm NOT that messy, when I first had my son 5.5 years ago I had PPD really bad and never seeked help. I've battled with depression for many years and she fails to even acknowledge it. I was 20 years old, forced into marriage with a baby and didn't know how to do anything on my own, so yeah five years ago the house was dirty, but I work DAMN HARD to keep a clean house now. I make sure it's clean and presentable EVERY time she comes over.
It really hurts thinking about it. I try my best to live up to her standards but she will never see it. If she had been around for the most important years of my life, and not spending the night at her boyfriends maybe she could have taught me a little more about how to function as an adult. I just don't even know what to say to her when I see her next. Should I just see her as another irrational adult and not my mother saying hateful things about to me total strangers?
Normally I'm a very proud mother and wife. I cook dinners for my family every night, they always have clean clothes and vacuumed floors. I don't think of myself as a slob or dirty, but hearing it from my mother really cut me deep and I can't get over it.
So being a SAHM apparently is gross and the daughter SHE raised is a filthy slob. Granted my mother is a germaphobe and a neat freak, even though she pays house cleaners to clean her house once a week. I'm NOT that messy, when I first had my son 5.5 years ago I had PPD really bad and never seeked help. I've battled with depression for many years and she fails to even acknowledge it. I was 20 years old, forced into marriage with a baby and didn't know how to do anything on my own, so yeah five years ago the house was dirty, but I work DAMN HARD to keep a clean house now. I make sure it's clean and presentable EVERY time she comes over.
It really hurts thinking about it. I try my best to live up to her standards but she will never see it. If she had been around for the most important years of my life, and not spending the night at her boyfriends maybe she could have taught me a little more about how to function as an adult. I just don't even know what to say to her when I see her next. Should I just see her as another irrational adult and not my mother saying hateful things about to me total strangers?
Normally I'm a very proud mother and wife. I cook dinners for my family every night, they always have clean clothes and vacuumed floors. I don't think of myself as a slob or dirty, but hearing it from my mother really cut me deep and I can't get over it.